Locker Page 1254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tim Thomas Brawl Classes Up Denny's
The Mavericks forward was involved in an early morning throwdown at a Dallas Denny's today. Nothing good happens at Denny's at 3 a.m. Nothing good happens at Denny's....
Deep Inside The Comcast/TV Guide Sports Listing Conspiracy
I've been hard on Comcast, because well....they're an evil cable company and they deserve it. But we're received a flood of emails proving that the wacky game descriptions we've been spotting are not their fault. It's like a peeling onion....
Comcast Writers Not Even Trying Anymore
Comcast's television guide writers have taken a new approach to crafting their NBA game descriptions. Simply throw at a dart at the team rosters and whatever name you hit becomes the star of the game....
Matt Bullard Delivers His Color Commentary Directly To Refs
Remember Matt Bullard? Of course you do. He's now working the sidelines for the Rockets TV team and recently got so worked up about the poor officiating he was seeing, he decided to share his thoughts directly with the officials....
Last Night's Winner: Shysters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Utah Flash owner Brandt Andersen, who successfully duped 7,500 suckers into buying tickets to his arena by lying about Michael Jordan. It's a living....
Somebody Give The Bulls Credit For Acknowledging The Playground Time Out
John Jackson says that "energy" and "hunger" are what the Bulls lack right now. I'd throw "awareness" onto that list as well. [BallDon'tSKEETS!]...
Dog Show? More Like The Gun Show
In a first, they'll be testing Iditarod participants (mushers) for drugs and alcohol. This is useless until a dependable test for Purina Beneful is developed. [Fairbanks Daily News-Miner]...
Greg Oden's Old Vietnam War Wound Acting Up Again
Oden's done for the year after fracturing his patella. (Don't embiggen the picture unless you want to see a man's patella.) Meanwhile, Kevin Durant is averaging 28, 7, and 3. Sorry Portland fans, at least you have...no other teams. [Oregonian]...
As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...
Joakim Noah To LeBron James: "You're A Jerk"
Last night's Cavs-Bulls game was marked by an argument between LeBron James and Joakim Noah, occasioned by King James dancing on the sidelines during Cleveland's 101-87 win. The b-word was apparently thrown, ooh!...
Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...
Area Man Nods Approvingly at Wikipedia Entry On Suffrage
You can't fault David Stern's Machiavellian labor-negotiating skills. Even though we're two years away from him pulling a Gary Bettman, he's already tossing throwaway bombs, like this one launched into the lap of SI's Ian Thomsen: Chicks in the NBA!...
Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...
Comcast Continues To Find Hidden Subtext Of NBA Games
A reader sends us more evidence of a Comcast cable guide curator who is maybe missing the point of a particular NBA game. Unless Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess have a secret love child that I haven't heard about....
The Master Of The Press Conference Delivers Again
Pressers are invariably boring; unless Allen Iverson is involved. We got a doozy today, as AI broke down announcing his return to the 76ers....
LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT! Jamboroo, Week 13
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Pau And Placido Make Beautiful Music Together
SoCal's newest 'It' Couple are Lakers Center Pau Gasol and opera legend Plácido Domingo. They've become fast friends because...it's L.A., who the f**k knows?...
A Nets Liveblog, Because I Hate Myself
On the brink of history, the 0-17 Nets take on the Mavericks. Check in regularly for updates on the game, and my eroding sanity....
Ron Artest And Alcohol At Halftime: Mix Accordingly
He tells the Sporting News: "I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime. I (kept it) in my locker. I'd just walk to the liquor store (near the stadium) and get it." [Sporting News]...
Allen Iverson Is Philly's Answer Once More ...
... provided the question is, "Which fading NBA great who's about one step removed from a stint with the Globetrotters did the Sixers just sign to a really sad one-year, non-guaranteed contract at the pro-rated veterans minimum?" [ESPN]...