Locker Page 1260 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Delonte West Is "The Road Warrior"
Cavs guard Delonte West was arrested last night, carrying two handguns and a shotgun. On his motorcycle. A) Where was he carrying the shotgun? (Answer below!) B) Was there an apocalypse that no one told me about? [WUSA9/Plain-Dealer]...
Russian Billionaires Are NBA's Last Hope
All New Jersey Nets owner Bruce Ratner wants to do is get the Nets out of New Jersey and plant them in the heart of Brooklyn, but he's missing one key ingredient. What's it called? Oh right...money. He has none....
NBA Players Will Have To Call Their Own From Now On (UPDATE)
Here's a tip for the NBA referee's union. When negotiating for better benefits and more job security, try to avoid bargaining from the position of being the most hated and least respected workforce in America....
LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...
Michael Jordan Has Some Crap He Wants To Sell You
Yes, MJ's holding an auction. Just because we're in a recession doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself to a $1,500 used pair of shorts or a $1,000 golf ball every now and then. [NBC Chicago]...
WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...
Mouthcurtains and Fake Gusgasms. Jamboroo, Week 2.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Heat Staff Find Their Paychecks In A Miami Vise
Want to trim the budget during a recession, but can't get around that little matter of guaranteed contracts? Take a page from Heat, and cut the pay of the entire front office staff, including Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley....
Love And Football. The Return Of The Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find links to more of Drew's stuff at his Twitter feed....
Does Michael Jordan Have Any Friends Left?
Despite what he'll tell you, Jordan wouldn't have won a single title without help. Yet Jerry Krause, the man who assembled that collection of second bananae, won't be there as MJ enters the Hall of Fame. Why not?...
Sympathy For The Refs
More and more it's looking as if the NBA will lock out its referees and turn to scabs instead, and no one will much protest because NBA refs aren't exactly coalminers in Matewan. But this is nevertheless a bad development....
Ron Artest and John Green, Reunited At Last
Sports history was made today when professional crazy man Ron Artest and amateur famewhore John Green called into Detroit's "Drew and Mike" show at the same time, so they could talk about their friendship and simultaneously plug non-existent charity events....
God Apparently Not A Fan Of Allen Iverson
AI tweets this morning:''God Chose Memphis as the place that I will continue my career.'' The Good Lord struck Iverson a 1 year, $3.5 million deal with the Grizzlies. [Commercial Appeal]...
Ray Allen Has The Eye Of The Tiger
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
<em>National Review</em> Guy Continues Dumb Crusade Against Imaginary Scourge Of Lefty Sportswriters
Whiny Jay Nordlinger is now soliciting examples of mean old press-box commies mixing partisan politics with sports. He says he's making an "omnium-gatherum," which is Latin for "butt plug." [NRO]...
Ron Artest And Palace Beer Thrower Become BFFs
Ron Artest says he tracked down John Green—the Detroit thug who threw a beer at him, sparking the worstfunnest night in NBA history—not so he could throttle him silly, but so they could team up for exciting adventures!...
Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...
Crystal Taylor: Not Pregnant!
Dirk Nowitzki's ex-fiancée isn't carrying a little Dirkchen, a pregnancy test proved. (Not to mention months in prison with nothing to show for it.) Clearly, while Dirk tried to drain one from outside, there was goaltending on the play. [ESPN.com]...
<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...
Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business
Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business....