Locker Page 1266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Careful, Jazz Players. Jerry Sloan Is Monitoring Your Facebook Status Updates.
Grumpy old man Jerry Sloan and the Jazz brass are reportedly unhappy with little-used backup Kyrylo Fesenko, which isn't terribly surprising given that Jerry Sloan hasn't been happy since the Eisenhower Administration. What's surprising is the reason: Facebook status updates....

How Andrei Kirilenko Is Spending His Summer Vacation
There's so much absurdity in this little tableau that the fact Andrei Kirilenko is on a jet ski is probably the most normal thing about it....

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....

Like Mulan, But With More Devastating Foot Injuries
Yao Ming set to star in Chinese animated movie. [ESPN]...

Everyone Loves Golden State Until They Get Drafted By Them
There's a pretty amusing article about Golden State's pre-draft scouting camp where dozens of NBA hopefuls came to the Bay Area to show off for scouts and—more challengingly—pretend that they would actually enjoy playing for the Warriors....

Joyless Mike Breen Threatens To Make Boring Finals Even More Unbearable
Of the many reasons to feel generally blah about the upcoming Magic-Lakers series, there is, above all, this sad fact: Mike Breen, the only man who watches basketball and cheers for the refs, is still the voice of the NBA finals....

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

We Were All Witnesses
"Well, that guy is not in the league anymore. The other 2-3 is now on the good side now. That other 2-3 is gone, so we don't have to worry about that no more." [LeBron James, after his last-second shot won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals]...

Derrick Rose Needed A Lot Of Help Getting Into College
One day after being (sorta) implicated in an academic scandal at the University of Memphis, a new report claims that Derrick Rose may have had his high school grades changed in order to fool colleges that he was applying to. Didn't this guy do any of his own homework?...

What You Need To Know About The NBA's Jaunty Superfan
He's the multi-millionaire (but not quite a billionaire) sporting the cowboy hat on his head and God-knows-what on his torso, and he happens to sit courtside at a terrifyingly astounding number of NBA games, sometimes carrying European models, all the time hobnobbing with the league's superstars. Me...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

Chinese Investors Eye Stake In Cavs, Signifying Something Or Other About LeBron
Over the weekend came news that a group of Chinese investors were looking to buy a 15 percent stake in the Cleveland Cavaliers. This is a big deal, not least because it would mean the Chinese now own most of our debt and a share of our favorite basketball player....

Jayson Williams Now Fighting Others Instead Of Himself (And Cops)
Jayson Williams—fresh off a hotel-smashing, taser-shooting, suicide scare—was arrested last night after a bar fight in Raleigh, North Carolina, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one....

The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...

Suspiciously Optimistic Guy In Warriors Forum Turns Out To Be Warriors Flack
So that anonymous optimist who's been dropping sunshine all over the Warriorsworld forums? Goes by "Flunkster Dude"? Posts things like, "Nice job Mully!"? Why, he's none other than Warriors PR director, Raymond Ridder....

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

Selena Roberts On Whitlock: "Perhaps There's A Little Homophobia There"
This week's Deadcast guest is Selena Roberts, the author of A-Rod and columnist for SI. Did you know Selena is the daughter of hoboes? It's true!...

Clippers To Ruin Blake Griffin's Life
Los Angeles Clippers president Andy Roeser is in loooove with Blake Griffin and since his team won the NBA Draft Lottery, the Oklahoma forward will likely be next to join that house of horrors. He was such a nice boy too. [AP]...

Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend Gives Jailhouse Interview
Cristal Taylor has given her first jailhouse interview, stating that yes, she was engaged to Dirk Nowitzki; no, he hasn't called; and you bet your ass, she's pregnant....