Locker Page 1292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Spurs Mascots Are Stealing Your Soul
There are many reasons to cheer against the Spurs in their series against Chris Paul and the former NOOCH New Orleans Hornets. The rapidly multiplying Spurs mascots would have to be considered pretty high up on that list. Lord....
The Spurs Are Still Hanging Around
Show me your Jazz hands. Chris Paul is clearly screwing up Deron Williams' endorsement deals. If the Hornets' point guard didn't exist, everyone would write love letters to Williams and and name their pets after him. Even thoug, Williams dropped 29 points, 14 assists and three boards as the Jazz tie...
KG's Jedi Mind Tricks Don't Work In Cleveland
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who suggests that you see Iron Man immediately if you haven't already seen it. And if you have seen it, see it again. When he's not marketing major motion pictures for free, he can be found playing cards with Bigfoot at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
In Salt Lake City, The Bottle Hits <em>You</em>
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would like to abuse his position to give a public shout-out to his buddy Dave, who just got his Master's Degree from Purdue University. Way to go, Dave! When he's not making with the gratuitous congratulations, he can be found trimming his unibrow at Bas...
Your Friday Night NBA Playoff Primer
Basketbawful has a little TGIF for you. It comes disguised as a preview for tonight's Lakers-Jazz game. But I promise it'll make your mother love you again. If, well, you actually get off your sorry butt and buy her a card and some flowers. You've got two days. But read this first....
So, You've Been Watching Chris Paul, Right?
We know that the Hornets lost last night, and that the Lakers are sweeping through the playoffs, and that LeBron is kind of embarrassing himself a little bit. But all this playoff business only brings one thing to our mind: Heavens to Betsy, Chris Paul is freaking amazing....
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...
Invasion Of The LeBron Snatchers!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who could be replaced by an alien doppelganger any day now. It's been nice knowing you. When he's not trying to organize an underground resistance, he can be found practicing his "Nanu Nanu" at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
The NBA Playoffs: A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful once again brings you the nightly NBA previews. And the Spurs' championship formula. Basically, they...well, keep reading. Cleveland versus Boston: Game 2 LeBron James. I'm not a betting man, but I'd be willing to bet my life's savings - all $27.93 of it - that LeBron isn't going to h...
LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when y...
Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?
Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody's favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So ... what happened?...
Kobe, Pretentious Lakers Fans Celebrate A Lifetime Of Achievement
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is about to take you to another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into the wondrous land of the NBA. Next stop, the Basketbawful zone. Enjoy!...
NBA Playoffs: A Wednesday Night Viewer's Guide
It's hump day, and Basketbawful is here to mount your leg in celebration. Oh, and I'll be previewing tonight's games, too....
Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game....
Betting On The NBA Draft Lottery. Really.
We are but a mere two weeks from the NBA Draft Lottery, in which we discover what poor budding NBA superstar is shuttled off to Madison Square Garden. If you can't wait to see what happens, or if you just don't find the shuffling of ping-pong balls as thrilling as perhaps you should, worry not. Now ...
Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....
Pistons, 19th Century Technology Defeat Magic
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's interested to see how the Celtics plan to stop LeBron tonight. (He suggests napalm and well-trained attack dogs.) When he's not making violent anti-LeBron plans, he can be found relieving his NBA bladder at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
NBA Playoffs: A Monday Night Viewer's Guide
It's just another manic Monday, but never fear, Basketbawful is here...to once again tell you the only things you need to know about tonight's NBA playoff games. I'm not just doing this for you, though. I'm doing it for my country....
Congratulatory Hugs Aren't What They Used To Be
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...