Locker Page 1297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NBA Playoff Shakedown Continues...Airplane!-Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never get over Nacho Grande! When he's not quoting 80s comedies, you can find him flossing his teeth at Basketbawful. Enjoy! I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. And the Suns' two big fellas came through. Amare Stoudem...
The More Things Change, The More Playoff Seedings Remain The Same
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would have to go back to Hakeem Olajuwon vs David Robinson to remember a time when a potential MVP was so abused by a non-MVP. Sorry, CP3. When he's not underestimating the heart of those championship Rockets, you can find him practicing his Dream Shake ...
There's Plenty Of NBA Still Worth Watching
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's freaking excited about the end of the NBA regular season and thinks you should be too. When not being thrilled out of his ever-loving gourd by all this FAN-tastic NBA action, he can be found making playoff pinatas at Basketbawful. Enjoy! There are onl...
Stephon Marbury Is Being Called Out, Kind Of
As if Stephon Marbury weren't having enough trouble — and hey, who's having more trouble than a guy making $20 million while "rehabbing" an "injury?" — he's now being called out by old Coney Island pal Jamel Thomas....
That Buzzing In Your Heart? It's A Hornets Nest. Trust Me.
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't believe it's only two weeks until the NBA playoffs. When he's requesting a two-month leave of absence from work so he can watch every playoff game, you can find him building a lint ball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Out. Of. Gas. Memo to Don Nelson: Thi...
Perhaps The Duke Hatred Has Gone Too Far
Buried in a fun interview with Slate sports editor Josh Levin was this amazing tidbit about the Washington Wizards' promotional team:...
Benny The Bull: Free At Last!
Displaying the kind of investigative moxie that could have kept us out of this whole Iraq mess, the Chicago Sun-Times dug into Thursday's Benny the Bull T-shirt assault story and discovered that Benny had been wrongly accused! On Thursday it was reported that Benny — the costumed mascot for the Bull...
LeBron Talks To The Hand, Hand Says, "No MVP For You!"
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who after last night's cluster of crappy games totally takes back that whole "wishes the regular season was longer" thing. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern burn yesterday's request for a 300-game season, you can find him skipping rope at B...
Who Knew Hondas Were So Roomy?
A few weeks ago, there was a message board post about Shaquille O'Neal hopping a ride with a fan (who's apparently named "Donger") from the Suns' parking lot over to his Diesel mobile in the next lot. The veracity of the story was questioned, even though the fan had photographic evidence of the occa...
Who Is The NBA's Least Valuable Player? You Decide!
Chris Paul, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James...everybody has an opinion about who should win the NBA's MVP award this season, and most people have a theory about who's going to do it. Not me. I'm much more interested in who's going to be the league's Least Valuable Player. And you, the reade...
Benny The Bull Will Put A Cap In Your Ass
When talking about illegal mascot shenanigans, no one, of course, beats the drunken exploits of the Stanford Tree. But running a close second is Benny the Bull, the only NBA mascot with a criminal record for battery on a police officer. On Tuesday he was at it again, shooting the Celtics' Kevin Garn...
All Hail The Sword Of Rathgar!
A confession: We love Medieval Times. We went there for a friend's birthday a couple of years ago, and when we went out drinking afterwards, we ran into the Red Knight. He was surly, even for a knight; he wouldn't even sign our plastic axe. Dick. Anyway, Rashard Lewis is apparently quite the Medieva...
Jason Smith Might Be A Little Itchy
According to ex-adult entertainer Mary Carey, Sixers rookie big man Jason Smith was the victim of her spider-monkey-esque make-out session on Monday night. Smith, the Sixers 20th pick in the 2007 draft, has provided playoff-bound Sixers some additional big-man depth off the bench this season but, ac...
Welcome Back Everybody!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who secretly wishes that the NBA regular season was even longer. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern institute a 300-game season, you can find him engaged in thrilling intellectual debates regarding fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Agent Ze...
Rent Dennis Rodman For All Your Parties And Bar Mitzvahs
Anyone who discovered our little site here in the last two years — as opposed to being one of those sorry souls who were here at the very beginning — might not know about Darren Prince. Prince, famously, is Dennis Rodman's lawyer, who took exception with our coverage of Rodman's first book signing, ...
Say Yes To Drugs
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals....
The Playoff Hunt Continu ... Mmm, Nuggets Dancers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes he could rest his starters for the rest of the regular season. When he's not trying to find some starters to rest, you can find him playing with creepy bobbleheads at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Peja Stojakovic is totally clutchtastic. His former Sacram...
It's April Fools In The NBA, Starring The Western Conference Playoff Race
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who just crumpled up his "Western Conference Playoff Position" spreadsheet and ate it. When he's not trying to make heads or tails of this crazy playoff race, you can find him running suicides at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Shaq's New Diesel
The black Perez Hiltons over at Media Take Out unveiled some photos of Shaq and his post-divorce hook-up, who if memory serves me correct, looks alarmingly similar to Shaq's ex-wife, Shaunie. (It seems Shaq has a thing for cinnamon-colored ladies with Legend of Billie Jean haircuts. )...
The NBA Playoff Hunt Continues, Predator Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks you should go rent The Predator again. Immediately. Oh, and he also thinks you should read his stuff at Basketbawful. Enjoy! So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in the meat grindah! Michael Finley's shooting slump hit a low point l...