Locker Page 1301 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
China Will Decide What Movies You Watch, Got It?
Oh China, what are we going to do with you? Mere hours after the first high-profile lawmaker called for a boycott of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies, the Chinese government responded to concerns about its record on human rights the way that you thought it would: By banning scary movies. Yep,...
Acorns In The Digestive Tract
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer Indian Chief....
NBA D-League All-Star Weekend: Basketball Is Basketball
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Today: The D-League All-Star Game....
Keith Van Horn Has A Nice Gig, If You Can Get It
After the Jason Kidd trade finally went down — Mark Cuban says "this deal will have impact!" — the one question everyone had was ... Keith Van Horn's still playing? No, he isn't, which you probably know by now; he just never filed the papers. And now he's even richer than he was before....
NBA All-Star Hangover: Featuring Real Quotes From Real Drunks!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's spent a night here and there praying to The Porcelain God. When he's not sailing the seas with Captain Morgan, he can be found getting intoxicated by the NBA at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • What? Don't try to act like none of you have ever gotten drunk and ...
Top 10 Things That Are More Boring Than The Bibby Trade
In case you missed it - and that would have been easy to do - Mike Bibby was traded to the Atlanta Hawks last weekend. I sincerely hope you don't care, but in case you do, the Hawks sent starting point guard Anthony Johnson, 2007 first-round pick Shelden Williams, backup point guard Tyronn Lue, vete...
The Depressing Last Days Of The Seattle Sonics
We don't know many Sonics fans, but if we did, we'd mostly be tiptoeing around them these days. It's one thing to make fun of a Knicks fan; at least the Knicks aren't going anywhere. (Sadly.) But Sonics fans ... what can you say to them these days?...
Like A Botox-Infused Ether Binge... Now With T.O.!
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Over the next two days, we'll be telling his tales. Today: The Celebrity Game....
Matters Are Not Improving For Vin Baker
There's always been a little part of us that feels bad for Vin Baker. The guy's life fell apart after the NBA lockout, his weight blowing up and a serious alcohol problem turning him into that family member who looks a little worse every Christmas you see him. And now he's officially broke....
Where Meaningless (But Mildly Entertaining) All-Star Games Happen
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of the weekend wearing Superman pajamas and recreating Dwight Howard's award-winning dunks on a Nerf hoop. When he's not wearing blue tights with little red undies on the outside, he can be found practicing his dunk face at Basketbawful. Enjoy...
What Would An All-Star Game Be Without Fug Unis?
Hey, loogit, there's an All-Star Game on. And it sounds as though it's slightly less boring than pointless spectacles past! I don't know, I'm at work and can't watch it. But the uniforms? Ugly!...
Sir Charles Doesn't Work For the Christians
Sure, it's no conversation about bewbs with Reggie Miller, but stuff like this could actually get me to watch the Sunday morning politics shows. We have but six years to gear up for the Barkley gubernatorial run. Any chance he could run against Nick Saban? Have Dwayne Wade in his cabinet? At least ...
Dwight Howard Saves Your Dunk Contest
Finally the right man wins the dunk contest. This is what happens when you don't allow Michael Jordan to be a judge, even if Darryl Dawkins is perhaps his equal in hateration. Howard stole the show in what many are saying was one of the best dunk contests ever, if at least in recent memory....
Can Dwight Howard Get Screwed Again?
Welp, that's it for today, folks. Enjoy the Skills Competition, which, like the Home Run Derby in baseball, is far more enjoyable than the All-Star Game itself....
Another All-Star Game That's For Everyone BUT The Fans
As we mentioned in the developmental league post yesterday, we never really enjoy the NBA All-Star Game, and we're pretty sure you don't either. Not that it particularly matters; it's not for us, it's for them, the players. It's in New Orleans this year, so everyone gets to go absolutely batshit cr...
A Very NBA Valentine's Day
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's got a sinus infection right now, so don't expect any miracles today, okay? When he's not hacking up globs of stuff that look like they could be used as monster blood in an Alien versus Predator movie, he can be found dying a slow, painful death at Bask...
A Celebration Of All Things D-League
Yeah, yeah, so the NBA All-Star Game is this weekend. Yawn. There's not much more dull these days than the 3-point contest and the slam dunk competition, and the game itself ... no thanks. But worry not, basketball fans: There's an antidote in the very same city: It's the Development League All-Star...
George: You Just Cockblocked McLovin!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who cannot freaking believe that Devean George - Devean George!! - foiled Jason Kidd's trade to Dallas. Wow. When he's not paralyzed with disbelief, he can be found sitting there with his mouth hanging open at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • McLovin's our friend! We...
Only Devean George Understands The Power He Wields
Of all the comments in the wake of the Jason Kidd trade that was, oddly, blocked by Devean George of all people, our favorite might have been in the live blog of the Mavs' game against the Blazers:...
Stephen Jackson Is Somewhat Lacking In Flow
Even Ron Artest was better, though only at hip-hop, not randomly leveling strangers in the crowd....