Locker Page 1302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBA Closer: The Dr. Cox Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks most people are bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. When he's not busy hating the whole goddamn world, he can be found discussing the best of the worst of professional basketball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Sweetheart, I find it...
Latrell Sprewell Could Use A Raft Of Some Sort
In case you have forgotten, in 2005, according to Wikipedia, here's where Latrell Sprewell stood, contract-wise....
Yet Another Case Of The Mondays
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who generally shows up to work about 15 minutes late (he uses the side door so his boss doesn't see him). After that, he just sort of spaces out for an hour. Yeah, he just stares at his desk, but it looks like he's working. He does that for probably another ...
Brandon Bass Whacks Vince Carter, World Rejoices
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, a former college intramural freethrow shooting champion...25-for-25 baby! When he's not perfecting his stroke from the line - no double-entendre intended, as far as you know - he can be found studying the science of freethrowology at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • ...
Get Your Shaq Jersey (Plenty Of Time, Though)
A reader sent us this mock page from the Phoenix Suns' Web site, encouraging fans to buy the jersey Shaq will be wearing for the team for the next couple of years. That sounds about right....
Angry Shaq's Death Toll Currently Stands At One Shark, Maybe Shawn Bradley
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who once attended a Sports and Literature class with Brian Cardinal but still doesn't know whether Cardinal can actually read. When he's not bidding on game-used Kwame Brown NBA logos - listed as very rare!! - he can be found hiding from Shaq at Basketbawful...
The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....
Lakers Lose?! Inconceivable!
Hello, my name is Matt McHale. You killed my father. Prepare to die! (P.S. When I'm not preparing to kill you, I can be found practicing swordplay at Basketbawful.) • You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful! The following is an actual quote from the Associated Press: "With the game on the li...
Lakers Assimilate Gasol, All Resistence Is Now Futile
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not working on his underground bunker in preparation for the Lakers world domination, he can be leading a ragtag group of rebels at B...
Trying To Figure Out That Crazy Shaq-Suns Trade
It's pretty rare, in this sports world we all love, fear and hold dear, to find something that everyone agrees on. Unanimity of opinion is non-existent; we sometimes wonder if you held a poll saying, "Would you like to be punched in the face right now?" the margin would still have at least 0.001 pe...
A Tale Of Two Trades
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals....
Boy, Did You Ever Miss A Barnburner At MSG Last Night
So, if there were ever a day for the Knicks to finally get fed up with Isiah Thomas and end this madness, today would seem like a good one....
Mr. T Pities Fools, Miami Heat
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not admiring this Rik Smits wallpaper, he can be found country line dancing at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • At least he's in Barkley's Fav...
You Don't Know The Power Of The Dark Side
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not modeling Shaq's "Kazaam" underwear, he can be found studying the ancient art of the Jedi at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Dark forces r...
Donyell Marshall = 100 Percent Grade A Beefcake
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not studying the history of Allen Iverson's hairstyles, he can be found cracking wise at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Jamboroo XXII: The Super Bowlaroo, Featuring Queens Of the Stone Age, Kix, Guacamole, New Drinking Games And Stolen Porn
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Even when there are no games....
Hail To The King, Baby!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not memorizing Gheorghe Muresan's Wikipedia entry, he can be found curing cancer at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • "They've got nothing ...
Stephen A. Smith Stands Before You, Merely A Blogger
If you were confused about the timing of Stephen A. Smith staring his own blog, be bewildered no longer: At long last, the Philadelphia Inquirer has officially ended its relationship with Stephen A.....
Night of the Living 'Sheed
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not building a life-sized Dirk Nowitzki out of LEGOs, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • They did the m...
Gilbert Arenas Wants You To Buy Our Book
Yes, yes, we know: We've hawked the book a bit around here, but we took a day off from it yesterday. (If just because we were in a plane for seven hours.) But don't worry, folks: Gilbert Arenas has our back....