Locker Page 1309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Jordan Is Paying A Wee Bit In His Divorce Settlement
Michael Jordan and Juanita Jordan got engaged on New Years Eve, 1987. Jordan was in his third year in the NBA at the time, and had just filmed a Nike commercial with Spike Lee. They were married almost two years later — in Las Vegas, of course — and they signed a "post-nuptial agreement," whatever t...
Kevin Durant, Trail Blazer
We're longtime fans of the Draft Kevin Durant blog, if just because of the obsessive single-mindedness of it. (Even if it hasn't been updated in a while.) When Greg Oden went down with an injury, it was all the site could do not to cackle....
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Manute Bol And Spud Webb Can Sell Chicken
We're not going to harp on this, and we're not going to try to steal their luster, so we're just gonna beg you to sprint over to Wizznutzz and check out what is truly "the greatest piece of sports memorabilia of all time....
The Plight Of The Nerdy White Hoopster
We're rather excited to have the NBA back, not just because it's a gorgeous, chaotic bit of organizational improvisation, but because it reveals just how dorky looking white people are....
Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Marbury Wants You To Know That Only He Sells Cheapass Shoes
Considering he has testified under oath that he had sex with a Knicks intern in his car — and then helped get her a better job! — Stephon Marbury needs all the good PR he can get. Hence, those cheap sneakers he sells, which help inner city kids become more like Stephon Marbury, which is totally a go...
Bulls Distracted By Trade Rumors, Other Team's Basketball Ability
• YiHarmony — Well, it certainly doesn't look like Yi Jianlian figured out how not to foul people during games. The waist-high kick is frowned upon, I'd imagine, no matter how high the wall is around your country. But he was only whistled for three fouls in 33 minutes, which enabled him to score a r...
ESPN Announcers Have Different Netflix Queues
You Can Stuff Your Sorries In A Sack. Gilbert Arenas guaranteed victory, but the Celtics instead opened up a 37-point second quarter and won 103-83. Now I demand my money back. No, I didn't put up any money on this game, but I was talking about that Thai food that made me sick a few weeks ago. I wan...
Good Night, Sweet Prince
• What's Gotten Into Tayshaun Prince? There's only one way to explain the Piston's opener on Thursday: Tayshaun Prince was bitten by something in the woods, and became Teen Wolf. Prince scored a career-high 34 points, and collected 12 rebounds (!), as Detroit beat Miami 91-80 in the season opener fo...
Jamboroo, Week 9: The Budding Legend Of Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Oh, Those New York Knickerbockers
Sadly, we haven't had the joy yet of watching the Knicks play — they open in Cleveland on Friday — but that doesn't mean we can't relive the glory of the last 10 years of beautiful Knicks history....
Please Give A Warm Forum Welcome To Day One Of The NBA Season
Welcome the return of your daily recap of NBA "action."...
Hey, The NBA Season Is Starting!
The NBA season tips off tonight, and we should all take heed: It'll be the last time anybody cares about an NBA regular season game. Enjoy!...
A Look At Kevin Garnett
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...
A Look At Steve Nash
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...