Locker Page 1314 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joakim Noah Is Already Making Friends
Of all the funny love connections that came out of last night's NBA Draft, the one we were most tickled by was the match of Joakim Noah and the Chicago Bulls. Seriously. Look at that guy. He looks like that before comes into the sanitarium that is the NBA. In six years, he's going to have physically...
Mark Cuban Is Suing Don Nelson For Knowing His Team
You know, it's possible that Mark Cuban isn't quite over his Mavericks' loss to the Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. How can we tell? Because he's actually suing Don Nelson for having "confidential information" and using it in the Warriors' victory. He's really doing this....
The Stephen A. Smith Hecklers Return!
We had been told The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen would not be at the NBA Draft this year. We were wrong; oh, how we were....
Look! NBA Draft Analysis!
Obviously, the Internets are gonna be buzzing all day today with draft analysis and all that dirty business, and everyone's gonna be telling you who the winners and losers were after a night where nothing other than the reading of names happened....
NBA Draft Live Blog: Free Darko Is Here
Some sad news, folks: The world-famous Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen, responsible for the brilliant SAS draft night heckling video, turned out to be unable to garner tickets to tonight's NBA Draft. This is going to severely diminish the amount of fun we're going to have tomorrow. (S...
Come "Party" With Daequan Cook
According to the most recent — and, we presume, the final — NBADraft.net projection — Ohio State guard Daequan Cook is slated to be drafted tonight with the 22nd pick by the Charlotte Bobcats. We hope it works out for him, because he's hosting a party tonight, and it's totally gonna be embarrassing ...
How Do They Sleep At Night? On A 10-Foot High Pile Of Money
You might remember back, a few months ago, when we told you about the brothers Silna, the former owners of the ABA St. Louis Spirits who, to this day, get one-seventh of the revenue of all NBA television contracts even though they haven't owned a team in 30 years. Well, with the new NBA/ABC/ESPN con...
Yep: The Kobe Video Guys Are Dorks
This site claims to have pictures of the two guys responsible for that increasingly lame "Kobe Video Rant", smiling with Kobe during happier times. (In other words, right before he spouted off and caused them to think you could sell 25-second video clips on the Web.) It's not confirmed that's reall...
Getting Drunk With The Draft And Simmons
As we watch Chad Ford do his absolute best Bill Simmons impression while mock-drafting with the Sports Fella — "Taking Oden is like marrying the girl you don't want to date, but the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with!" — we look forward to tomorrow night's NBA Draft. (Which will be li...
Matt Geiger Lives Like A Freaking King
If you ever needed a reminder how the life of a professional athlete is infinitely better than yours is, we re-introduce you to Matt Geiger. The journeyman center bounced around the NBA for 10 years, fouling Shaq a lot, mostly just being bald. And how was rewarded for his tenure? Rather handsomely. ...
Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...
Like NBA Stars, But Smaller And You Can Eat Them
One of our favorite old sports stories involves Doug Flutie, when he was at the height of his Bills popularity, and then-Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson. In the locker room before the game, Johnson, to presumably fire up his troops, destroyed a box of the Flutie Flakes cereal sold to benefit autism res...
Remembering Stephen A. Smith's Night Of NBA Draft Glory
To remind: The NBA Draft is three days away. To make sure you're appropriately fired up, we bring you this brilliant blast from the past, the fantastic Stephen A. Smith heckling video from last year's NBA Draft. HE LOVES THESE CHEESY DOODLES....
China Insists That Boston And Philly Are Grand Places For The Chinese
The NBA Draft is now just three days away, and since everybody knows how the first two picks are going down, the main intrigue — other than the usual sartorial speculation — involves the three Florida players and Chinese mystery Yi Jianlian. He's either Dirk Nowitzki or Wang Zhi-Zhi, and he's either...
Great Moments In Web Profit Making
Let's think, for a moment, of just how long a timespan 24 seconds. It's how long it takes a shotclock to run down. It's how long it takes us to type two sentences. It's how long it takes Elijah Dukes to type two words on a text message. And it's how long the supposedly CONTROVERSIAL Kobe Bryant vide...
In Which We Channel Our Inner Roger Ebert
MSNBC is ranking the five worst movie performances by an athlete-turned actor, to which we say, is there really any need to go beyond Kazaam? Apparently there is, and so we also get Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer, Roosevelt Grier in The Glove, Dennis Rodman in Double Team and Mitch Gaylord ...
And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...
Enjoy Your Night Of Watching Other People Be Drafted
This young man is Kendaris Pelton, a part-time player for Mississippi State Southern Mississippi. And by part-time, we mean that he played in seven games. And he has declared for the NBA Draft....
Not A Coach, But He Played One On TV
We happily welcome Reggie Theus, mustached oiled man of mystery, back to the NBA, thanks to his new gig as head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Theus, of course, is probably more famous for his modeling and thespian work than his coaching, though he did bring New Mexico State to the NCAA tournament l...