Locker Page 1340 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe They Should've Done This Before The Free Agency Period Started
The Boston Celtics have finally gotten around to putting together their first-ever dance team. Apparently, they're just going to call them the "Celtics Dancers," which is unfortunate. I was holding out hope for something like "The Paul Pierce Pleasure Crew," or "The Girls of Scalabrine's Weenie." ...

You Will Not Be Represented By Kobe Bryant This Summer
Reports (from no less than the awesome "ESPN.com news services") are surfacing that Kobe Bryant had arthroscopic surgery on his right knee this summer, and thus, won't be suiting up for Team USA's training camp, or pre-World Championship tour. The surgery itself is described as minor, but it is go...

"Leon ... POWE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So we haven't been watching much summer league basketball, if just because the only local games on around these parts are the Knicks, and honestly, if we wanted to watch a snuff film, we'd just go see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie....

Your Knicks Highlight Video
We have a feeling you could probably put together 15-20 ugly plays by any player, in any sport, and make them look like the worst player on earth. That said, this montage of Malik Rose "highlights" from last season still made us laugh ... mainly just because it's the Knicks. We'd love to see similar...

LeBron James' Sneaky Math
So, LeBron James has reupped with the Cleveland Cavaliers, which means Cavs fans can rejoice while Bill Simmons can stew in it, right? Cavs forever!...

Some Things, Ron Artest Shouldn't Joke About
Temporarily sane Sacramento forward Ron Artest gave an interview to the Sacramento Bee over the weekend that covered his future with the team, his dogs and Donald Trump. But the most frightening section came from when Artest was asked about whether or not Bonzi Wells will return to the team next y...

Cavaliers Ensure LeBron's Kingdom Remains in Cleveland
LeBron James will be staying Cleveland, finally easing the worried minds of Cleveland-ites far and wide who feared that he would bolt from the land of Drew Carey for more pristine digs. But the Cavaliers management stepped up, fitting James with a 5-year $80 million extension that will keep him lo...

Well, He Has To Find SOME Reason To Sue
Wouldn't you think, if you were fortunate enough to have a striking physical resemblance to one of the most famous athletes/personalities on the planet, it might have some benefits? Might get you into a club easier? Maybe pick up a girl or two?...

Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices
In case you were in desperate need of some of the inside details of the Eddie Griffin masturbating in his car story — and, obviously, you were, because what person in his right mind isn't? — the official PDF version of the complaint in the lawsuit against him has been released. Our personal favori...

Chicago Bulls Mascots, Just One Step Ahead Of The Law
You're probably tired of hearing about NBA mascots attacking the police while driving mini-motorcycles at outdoor festivals — we know we are — but this one has a slight twist. The mascot, Benny the Bull of the Chicago Bulls, threw a punch at a sheriff's deputy, knocking off his glasses. The best p...

A Sign That New Orleans Is Finally Getting Back On Its Feet
I don't know if you'd call him a marquee free agent, but for New Orleans/Oklahoma City, it's not bad. Peja Stojakovic has signed with NOOCH for a staggering $64 million over five years, in what may be a gross misappropriation of Katrina relief funds....

Dirk To Cuban: Pipe Down, Sparky
Dirk Nowitzki is taking his leadership role on the Dallas Mavericks seriously. He's not calling out another player, he's not even calling out a coach. He's got issues with team owner Mark Cuban. From an article in the Dallas Morning News, here's Dirk on Cuban's courtside behavior:...

Charlie Villanueva Finds A New Home
In need of a point guard, and realizing that free agents flock to Toronto like women flock to bloggers, the Raptors acquired a point guard in a trade last night. T.J. Ford heads north of the border, and Charlie Villanueva goes back the other way to play alongside Andrew Bogut in Milwaukee....

Eddie Griffin Needs To Mind His Surroundings
OK, so we formally apologize for taking until 10 a.m. today to get to this. It's been a busy morning....

Get Your Isiah Popcorn Here!
Just to be cheap and pile on, we found this site which allows you to "become a Dale and Thomas popcorn affiliate. According to the site:...

Illini Reunited In ... Utah! Go Jazz!
Forgive us a tiny bit of indulgence here, but our ultimate takeaway from the NBA Draft last evening was not the million Portland trades, Isiah Thomas' fumbling, Dan Patrick and David Stern's pissing contest or even the insane convergence of Michael Jordan and a guy who cries with two second left in ...

Heckling Stephen A. Without Mercy
The raucousness of the crowds at the NBA and NFL Drafts in New York are somewhat legend, and last night, from many accounts, nobody was hit harder than ESPN's resident screamer Stephen A. Smith. And now it's all captured on video. Stephen A. is hit repeatedly in this video, for his Cheese Doodles,...

Knicks Fans Share The Love
Earlier today we introduced you (and several NBA GMs, no doubt) to Knicks' No. 1 draft pick Renaldo Balkman. We'd like to formerly thank Isiah Thomas for making this selection, as it makes our job here so much easier than if he, say, picked someone logical. Knicks' fans, however, are not quite as ha...

Isiah Thomas' Secret Genius
While digging through the breathtaking True Hoop coverage, and after watching Jay Bilas look flabbergasted on "SportsCenter" this morning, we are pleased to report that one of the top stories the day after the NBA Draft is a familiar one: Isiah Thomas is an idiot!...