Locker Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Steve Ballmer Appears To Be In Heat While Introducing Kawhi Leonard And Paul George
The Los Angeles Clippers held an introductory press conference today for new players Paul George and Kawhi Leonard. Also on stage was team owner Steve Ballmer, known for being shiny, red, and het up while courtside at his team’s games. In a sense, this is charming: Ballmer’s one of the team owners w...

Get Ready For The Real Tampering Fight
Sure, you people laughed about the new NBA-wags-its-withering-fingers-at-tampering story. Of course you did. You’re still drunk, high, and sleeping on the front lawn about the latest offseason. It’s what you do, because drunken no-limits you is the best you you’ll ever be....

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

The NBA Is Shocked, Shocked To Find That Tampering Is Going On In Here
The NBA will reportedly open an investigation into the 2019 free agency period, based on the observation that roughly a zillion players changed teams this summer despite only Kawhi Leonard taking any meetings or doing any deliberating before making a move. The feeling seems to be that teams, players...

Deadspin Up All Night: Spirit Desire
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. See ya....

Here's The UK's Next Prime Minister Boris Johnson Doing Sports
Boris Johnson, a disheveled, dishonest, discombobulated clod, will be the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He will do a bad job. He might be more capable as a sportsman, though that isn’t much consolation or compliment....

What Fast Food Makes The Best Leftovers?
Today, we’re talking about pizza, paper, tolerating sporting events while sober, cream cheese, and more....

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: San Francisco 49ers
Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Team USA Is Bleeding Out
The FIBA World Cup begins in China on the last day of August. After a training camp in early August, Team USA will set its 12-man roster by August 12. Who will still be standing at that point?...

Report: Magic's Skeleton Reached Out Of The Grave, Grabbed A Microphone, And Screwed The Lakers
At this point, I’m ready to believe anything about Magic Johnson’s ability to screw over the Los Angeles Lakers, which according to a new report from The Athletic, was not lost with his departure from the team’s front office....

Ben Simmons Hit A Three! (In A High School Gym) (During A Pick-Up Game)
Now that free agency is settled and the draft is over and summer league has come and gone, the only thing NBA fans have left to consume before the start of the season is shaky, grainy footage of their favorite players participating in offseason workouts. These clips are always circulated by some sho...

Report: The Admissions Side Door May Have Been Open For UCLA Applicants With Influential Connections
The college admissions cheating scandal revealed the details of a formalized process for jamming the failchildren of wealthy and prominent families into otherwise credible and prestigious universities, using an expensive “side door” for parents whose wealth leaves them a rung or two shy of the oppor...

Remember The Time Tim Duncan Coached Up An Opposing Big Man During An NBA Game?
Legendary Spurs big man Tim Duncan has graduated from unofficial “coach of whatever he feels like” under Gregg Popovich to an official job as a Spurs assistant coach. Popovich’s coaching staff has lost quite a few assistants over the last year or so: last summer James Borrego left to become head coa...

Deadspin Up All Night: She's Got A Choice
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Brilliant But Also Dumb Warriors Fan Says He Had A Trick To Get Courtside Seats For About 30 Home Games
Golden Warriors fan Trevor Laub had a wonderful grift going at the team’s arena that allowed him to sneak courtside for games. And then last week, he revealed it to all the damn YouTubers....

Could This Finally Be The Year A French Rider Wins The Tour de France?
Since Bernard Hinault won the 1985 Tour de France, the French have been shut out of their home Grand Tour. Riders from Germany, Italy, Spain, the United States, Ireland, Australia, Great Britain, Denmark, and even Luxembourg have all taken home the yellow jersey, while French riders have come up sho...

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Arizona Cardinals
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Deadspin Up All Night: Look Down At My Body
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Until next time....

Cops: Man Threatened To Blow Up Oklahoma City Because The Thunder Got Rid Of Carmelo Anthony, Paul George, And Russell Westbrook
This past week, Oklahoma City police filed a search warrant to get information about a person who left two threatening voicemails in the general mailbox for the Oklahoma City Thunder. That person made the calls shortly after 1 a.m. on July 6 from a number with a Georgia area code—though the caller ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Mortal Sin!
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don’t forget to wash behind your ears....