Locker Page 209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: She Might Have A Porcupine
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Someone help me finish these leftovers....
Lakers Fan Forgets How Numbers Work
A Lakers fan’s opportunity to win a getaway casino package was cut hilariously short when he had just an awful brain fart at Staples Center on Friday. In a high-low game, the fan had to guess if the next virtual card flipped would be higher or lower than the previous one. The first card featured Kyl...
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....
De'Aaron Fox Is Fast As Hell And It Rules So Hard
When the following play begins, all five Jazz defenders are between De’Aaron Fox and the bucket. Three of his teammates are too, yet he takes the inbounds pass from Willie Cauley-Stein and rips straight down the middle of the court to the rack for a huge left-handed slam....
The Responsible Adult's Guide To Boozing Around The Holidays
The holidays are here. It may not sink in for you until you’ve heard “Silver Bells” for the umpteenth time at a bar festooned with mistletoe and Christmas lights, or until you notice your weird boss sweating and swaying after one-too-many scotch and sodas, but yeah, the holidays are here. So how do ...
On Paying Your Dues<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Somehow Hamidou Diallo's Bones And Ligaments Survived This Horrifying Fall
Late in Oklahoma City’s Wednesday night road win over the shorthanded Warriors, Thunder rookie Hamidou Diallo got tangled up with Jonas Jerebko going for a rebound in transition, and came down awkwardly on his left leg, with Jerebko’s full weight landing on an already severely bent and twisted ankle...
Deadspin Up! All Night: I See The Day Falling
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It’s Been A Weird And Wonderful Week Of Football
We’re here with your Thanksgiving week edition of Emergency Football Show Weekly! Dom Cosentino and I break down the show put on by the Rams and Chiefs on Monday Night Football, a costly mistake by Philip Rivers, the resurgence of the Indianapolis Colts and, of course, Jon Gruden and Derek Carr argu...
Thanksgiving Is The Last Good Holiday
Some years ago, for reasons that are hard to parse, the Internet Of Content decided that Thanksgiving sucks. A holiday that for the most part celebrates fundamental American values—gluttony, family, NFC football, a weirdly sentimentalized vision of genocide, copious side dishes—was transformed, in p...
Deadspin Up All Night: Punch In Punch Out
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Bye!...
Former MSU President Lou Anna Simon Charged With Lying To Police About Larry Nassar
Former Michigan State University President Lou Anna Simon, who resigned from her position back in January, has been charged by the Michigan Attorney General’s office on two felony counts and two misdemeanor counts of lying to police. From the Lansing State Journal:...
Down With Big Scooter<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Chewbacca pooping, Trump, dinosaur fights, sneezing, and more....
Ass Team Of The Week: You And The Philadelphia Eagles Will Be Trampled By The Stampede Of Time And Left For Dead
Here is an easy prediction to make: the Philadelphia Eagles are certainly not going to repeat as Super Bowl champions. It’s very unlikely, at this point, that they will even return to the playoffs. Their 4-6 record relays that information plainly enough, but the 48-7 loss they suffered at the hands ...
The American Outlaws Still Care About U.S. Soccer
On Oct. 10, 2017, the U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team suffered the most crushing defeat of its modern era: a 2-1 away loss to the tiny island nation Trinidad & Tobago which—coupled with simultaneous wins for Honduras and Panama—assured that in 2018 they’d be watching the World Cup from home for the ...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Legally Barred?
The last thing the sad and strange Markelle Fultz saga needed was whatever the hell this is, per David Aldridge:...
Old Tony Parker Stepped In And Gave Kemba Walker A Break, And It Ruled
Two minutes and seven seconds remained on the clock in last night’s Celtics-Hornets game, and Kemba Walker was tired. He had every right to be: To that point, he’d scored 40 points—18 in the fourth quarter alone—in just under 37 minutes of playing time. And these were not ordinary minutes, but rathe...
Vlade Divac Is Pissed About Coaching Decisions That Have The Kings Winning Actual Games
The Kings jumped out to a big early lead over the visiting Thunder Monday night, then withstood a furious Russell Westbrook-led surge, then made a series of clutch buckets and free throws in the final five minutes to secure their second win over OKC this season. Five Kings scored in double-figures; ...
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....
Report: College Basketball Team Members Offered Woman Escort Work After She Reported They Sexually Assaulted Her
A freshman student at the University of North Texas reported last year to her resident assistant that she was sexually assaulted by members of the college basketball team, according to a recent report by WFAA-TV in Dallas. The RA reported it to campus authorities. Then, hours after the report was ma...