Locker Page 214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Remember When Donald Trump Asked If Pittsburgh Was Going To Bring Back Joe Paterno, Who Was Dead?
When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand ...
Trump's New Attorney General Has A Wealth Of Sports Takes
Jeff Sessions resigned today as Attorney General of the United States at the request of Donald Trump. The Lilliputian bigot, a former Alabama Senator better known as The Keebler Elf But Racist, will be replaced for now by chief of staff at the Justice Department Matt Whitaker, a hulking bald Iowan w...
I Took My 84-Year-Old Neighbor With The Only Good NBA Takes To A Pacers Game
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Iris Clawson, 84-year-old NBA superfan, spent some time on the trainer’s table....
This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny center Dwight Howard—whose teammates universally cannot stand him—is back from a butt injury, and the Wizards are in such a sorry state of internecine bickering that Howard is the ...
CJ McCollum Had Some Sort Of Vendetta Against Donte DiVincenzo
CJ McCollum dropped 40 points on the Bucks during a 118-103 win at home and for some reason, he felt the need to embarrass Donte DiVincenzo at any given opportunity in the process. The signs were there early that McCollum wanted to sap the soul out of the rookie. Just over halfway through the first ...
Goddamn, Vince Carter's Still Got It
Without context, this slam from Vince Carter is nothing too special. The highlight itself likely wouldn’t even crack the Top 100 of VC’s 725 career throwdowns. But the fact that he’s still doing this after two decades of NBA basketball is something incredible to behold....
Somehow, Russell Westbrook's Ankle Did Not Instantly Turn To Crab Meat After This Fall
In the third quarter of Monday’s Pelicans-Thunder game, Oklahoma City point guard Russell Westbrook vied for a rebound and ended up with the ball of his left ankle kissing the floor. It was a gruesome scene; Westbrook screamed more than once and slapped the hardwood before he was carried to the loc...
The Pelicans Are Spiraling, But At Least Julius Randle Is Kicking Ass
Here is how more or less every Julius Randle possession seems to go this season....
Don’t Force Your Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about French fries, cocaine, college football, and more....
Jayson Tatum Appears To Have Contracted Kobe Brain
This summer, Jayson Tatum worked out a bunch with Kobe Bryant, who has made his admiration for the Celtics’ young star well known. Getting some pointers from one of the most accomplished players in NBA history seems like a self-evidently good decision, but I’m starting to fear that Tatum took more t...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Jets Would Like To Welcome You To Self-Loathing Football Season
I would like to talk to you about self-loathing football season....
Kyrie Irving Sees Your Shammgod, Raises One Bonkers Off-The-Knee Inside-Out Dribble
I am guessing we will not see Omri Casspi attempt this anytime soon. In fact, Kyrie Irving might be the only active NBA player with the skill and guts and latitude to pull this out in a tied regular season road game:...
Jamal Murray Made Some Celtics Salty By Shamelessly Gunning For 50
Celtics-Nuggets was very, very fun. Kyrie Irving was cooking. Jamal Murray was cooking. No one else really had it, and so the game became a cook-off between two sublime shot-makers. Murray got the better of the matchup, exploding for a career-high 48 points, including 19 in the fourth quarter, to ca...
Larry Drew Squeezes The Cavaliers For Severance Pay
The uneasy stalemate between the Cavaliers and non-interim acting head coach Larry Drew has now reached a form of resolution. Drew held out for more, and successfully got the Cavs to give him a little more. Here it is:...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...
Let's Remember Some Candidates: 1992 Election Card Guys Part Two
When last we visited Wild Card’s inexplicable and weirdly conscientious set of trading cards from the 1992 presidential election, we were taunted. Not just in the usual way that the past tends to taunt in a Remembering Some Guys scenario—all the reminders of things come and gone, the wreathing ambie...
Guy Commandeers Horse, Tries To Get On The Track At The Breeders' Cup
White people are regularly getting out of hand at horse racing events, and things were no different Saturday at the Breeders’ Cup. A 24-year-old Kentucky man named Michael Wells-Rody was arrested at Churchill Downs for sneaking into a restricted area, jumping on a horse, and trying to ride it out on...
Why Kanye West’s Sneakers Aren’t Selling Out (Or: How I Ended Up With $900 Worth Of Yeezys)
I got the first email at 10:54 a.m. on a Friday....
Omri Casspi Put His Own Twist On The Shammgod
Sure, it was fairly dad-like in the execution, and yes, he seemed to tweak something in his right leg, but this is undoubtedly Omri Casspi dropping Josh Jackson with what we’ll call the Shammg-d crossover in the first quarter of Grizzlies-Suns last night....
Here Are Some Young NBA Players Who Are Butt
The NBA contains many exciting and fun young lads, rubbery and springy basketball sons filled with promise. Jayson Tatum, De’Aaron Fox, Domantas Sabonis, and so on. But also there are many young basketball men who are dumpster crap. Here, in no particular order, is a list of some young NBA players w...