Locker Page 215 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giannis Antetokounmpo Boomed The Kings To Hell
Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is LeBron now, put up what might have been his most LeBron-ish box score of the season during last night’s 144-109 win over the Kings. The big ol’ freak was plus-39 in his 30 minutes on the court, and he finished with a 25-12-11 triple-double on 8-of-11 shooting. Sparkling...
Deadspin Up All Night: Art School Wannabe
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Happy Sunday....
Wisconsin Woman Displays Incredible Knowledge Of Cheese
The Bucks decided to run one of the most Wisconsin in-game fan contests ever on Sunday. In order to receive an autographed basketball, a fan had to name more cheeses than Milwaukee guard Sterling Brown did in the span of 30 seconds (17). With a foam cheese on her head, and a toddler on her arm, this...
Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...
Jimmy Butler: I Rest When I Want, So Stop Asking
Jimmy Butler stunk last night in the Timberwolves’ 116-99 loss against the Warriors. He scored 21 points on 23 shot attempts—which included a dismal 0-for-8 from three—and was a minus-19 during his time on the floor. But thanks to the disruptive saga that he’s created for himself, that wasn’t the fo...
The Raptors Made Deandre Ayton Look Silly
The Raptors played with some pretty mediocre effort on Friday which kept the terrible Phoenix Suns actually in a game going into the fourth quarter. One of the things that helped Toronto flip the switch and get the offense going was earning some quality assists through the legs of rookie big man Dea...
More Basketball Players Should Reenact Their Own Cool Moves<em></em>
What’s better than hitting the Shammgod, the coolest move in basketball? Providing an immediate historical reenactment, just in case anybody missed it. Russell Westbrook, thank you for your service....
Former Cavs Assistant Jim Boylan Files Age Discrimination Lawsuit
Former Cleveland Cavaliers assistant coach Jim Boylan, who had been with the team from 2013 until this past offseason, filed a lawsuit in Cuyahoga County court today alleging age discrimination against his former team....
Report: Magic Johnson Is Already Mad At Luke Walton For No Good Reason
On Sept. 20, Lakers czar Magic Johnson told ESPN that he assured coach Luke Walton that he’d be fine if the 2018-19 campaign were to get off to a slow start, since integrating a hodgepodge of new players into the team, including LeBron James, takes time....
Will Someone Please Befriend These Sad, Lonely People So The Rest Of Us Don't Have To Deal With Them?
Donald Trump is horrible and disgusting, and the menagerie of melting, gelatinous creatures surrounding him are also horrible and disgusting, but they’re not really new. The behavior they’ve exhibited over the last three years came into focus, in Facebook and before long silences at family dinners, ...
Dead Letters: "What Kinda Reporter Uses The Word Ass"
Subject: (no subject)...
On Subletting Headspace At No Cost
The language that Joel Embiid uses can be taken as an ice core sample of the language the internet is using at any given time. The Sixers center is one of the NBA’s savviest disciples of the Do-It-For-The-‘Gram ethos, a skilled user of meme and timely dialect, always hitting the right notes to Maxi...
Let's Remember Some Candidates: 1992 Election Card Guys
Where Wild Card’s set of trading cards for the 1992 presidential election is concerned, the question is less how the set came to be than why. The how part is easy: Given a smallish photo budget, a sufficiently defective sense of judgment, and no meaningful pressure to sell any of the cards, a compan...
I Like Chopping Firewood (In <i>Red Dead Redemption 2</i>)
The horses had all the hay they needed, the random bucket of water had been emptied into the wash trough, the cook had his sacks of grain or flour or whatever, and there were no more logs to split. The menial morning chores were done. And I thought, Shit, I guess now I gotta go have a thrilling Old ...
Blazers Fans Play Another Nightmarishly Incompetent Game Of Tic-Tac-Toe
It happened again! Nine months after two Trail Blazers fans played an infuriatingly bad game of tic-tac-toe between quarters, that game has a challenger for the title....
The Warriors Are Basically Renting A Rehabbing DeMarcus Cousins For Extra Motivation
Wednesday night, after his Pelicans lost to the Warriors, Anthony Davis said he’d like to see DeMarcus Cousins return to the Pelicans in free agency. That seems like it might be a long shot—apart from New Orleans’s looming salary crunch, there’s the matter of Cousins playing for one of the NBA’s all...
Oh Man, De'Aaron Fox Is So Much Fun
De’Aaron Fox spent his Thursday night leading the plucky Kings to a dominant road win in Atlanta. I do not expect you to take that very seriously! There are data points you mark in the The Kings Might Be Good column—a 6–3 record; road wins over the Thunder and Heat; a five-game winning streak; offen...
Deadspin Up All Night: Everything Runs Right On Time<em></em>
Thank you for you continued support of Deadspin. Years of practice and design. ...
Stephen A. Smith Tells The Hard Truth About Carmelo Anthony
Last April, Stephen A. Smith rained down righteous fury upon then-Knicks president Phil Jackson. New York fans have probably never felt in greater alignment with ESPN’s handsomely compensated take ejaculator. It was beautiful and cathartic to witness, all storm and fury, audible saliva froth and rec...