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All Three Defendants In College Basketball Corruption Trial Found Guilty
This afternoon, a jury ruled that former Adidas consultant Merl Code, Adidas employee James Gatto, and former financial adviser Christian Dawkins were guilty of a series of wire fraud charges stemming from their work orchestrating schemes to pay Adidas money to college basketball players in order to...

Jim Boeheim To LeBron James: I Am Not Big Mad
Syracuse head men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim is a known grump who has never been shy about disparaging members of the unpaid labor force that subsidizes his massive salary. You can understand, then, why someone might have taken this quote, about former Syracuse signee Darius Bazley forgoing coll...

Let’s Remember Some Guys: 1990 Football Guys
Football in 2018 is sleek. It is about scoring and speed. The players do not want to be encumbered by extraneous protective equipment. Shoulder pads have gotten smaller and smaller, and the frontier is being pushed every day. Michael Bennett wears kicker shoulder pads....

Joel Embiid And Andre Drummond Are Beefing, We Got Some Basketbeef Here
Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid is a big fat out-of-shape butt and also a very fine television actor, according to Detroit Pistons center Andre Drummond. Let’s back up and make some sense of that....

Blake Griffin Overwhelms The Sixers, In 2018
I don’t know if I’ve ever exactly forgotten about Blake Griffin, but certainly the time spent last season toiling away on irrelevant Clippers and Pistons squads didn’t help restore any of the prestige lost during three seasons spent mostly in injury hell. It seems like whole eras have passed since G...

Shameless Joel Embiid Flop Gets Andre Drummond Tossed From One-Possession Game
This moment didn’t wind up deciding Tuesday night’s excellent Sixers-Pistons game, but certainly removing his counterpart from the game made it a worthwhile ploy for Joel Embiid. With the score tied in the final minute of regulation, Embiid beat Andre Drummond to the cup for a tough bucket; as the b...

The Rapidly Expanding Rajon Rondo-Chris Paul Beef Now Includes Daryl Morey And Glen Davis
Things get exhausting now much more quickly than ever before. Whereas the great NBA beefs of old could unspool interestingly over the course of years, this latest Rajon Rondo-Chris Paul beef has gone from punches (and spit) flying to maybe the NBA should go back to bed for a couple months in just un...

Rajon Rondo Claims "Tampering Of Evidence," Denies Spitting On "Horrible Teammate" Chris Paul
Cranky Lakers point guard Rajon Rondo is currently serving a three-game suspension for his role in last weekend’s brawl between the Rockets and Lakers. That’s one more game than Chris Paul got, and it seems Rondo will be forced to sit out that extra game because of the possibility that he spat in Pa...

Markieff Morris Shamelessly Yanks Seth Curry's Shorts From The Bench
With the Wizards and Trail Blazers tied in the final seconds of regulation, Portland had the last shot. Damian Lillard brought up the ball for a high pick-and-roll with Jusuf Nurkic. Seth Curry nestled himself deep in the left corner. And Markieff Morris, who was not closing this one out for the Wiz...

The 19 Boringest Athletes Of All Time<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about pistachios, cults, Costco, crying, and more....

The Horrifying Tale Of Clint Malarchuk's Brush With Death
Welcome to Sports Horror Stories, a video series in which we will recount, in gruesome detail, some of the most terrifying moments in sports. ...

Ass Team Of The Week: Sean McDermott Cooked Up The Butt Meat And Derek Anderson Is Serving It
When watching the very bad football games that I have to watch in order to write this series, I sometimes like to play a game called How Long Can They Hide The Ass? This game consists of seeing how long a team that is known and verified to be butt can play any other way before the familiar stench re...

Luka Dončić Is Having A Ball
Lest Trae Young have all the fun beating up on an atrocious winless defense, his rookie foil Luka Dončić also got his last night in a 115-109 Mavericks win over the Bulls. Setting aside the joy of pitting a 19-and 20-year-old in mortal competition for purely narrative and/or Hawks-shaming purposes,...

It's Just Always Gonna Be Like This For The Wizards
Dwight Howard hasn’t played yet. He’s out with, literally, a sore ass. The guy starting in his place, Ian Mahinmi, has played a total of 33 minutes in three games; he’s committed 10 fouls and made one shot. The guy backing him up, Jason Smith, has a minus-22 net rating in 44 minutes and is shooting ...

LeBron James Is The Worst In The NBA At Clutch Free Throws
After LeBron James missed two clutch free throws in overtime in the Lakers’ third straight loss of the young season, ESPN Stats & Info shared an interesting tidbit about the greatest player of his era....

Celebrating Goober Shooed Away From Lakers Bench After Hitting $30,000 Half-Court Shot
Lots of basketball happened tonight. Much of it was meaningless, or ridiculous, or both. This here is the basketball highlight of the night, though it happened during halftime:...

The Celtics Should Consider Doing More Scoring
Here’s an annoying early season NBA trend: The Boston Celtics, favorites to gain supremacy in a LeBron-less Eastern Conference, have the worst offensive rating in the NBA, following an ugly 93–90 home loss to the lowly Orlando Magic Monday night. In a season thus far marked by outrageously prolific ...

Don't Miss The Kemba Walker Show
A surefire way of embarrassing yourself is by saying anything optimistic-sounding about the Charlotte Hornets based on something they do in the first month of an NBA season. They finished each of the last two seasons with 36 wins, and their biggest roster upgrade headed into this season involved jet...

Cheese Is Cascading From Jimmy Butler's Pores As If From A Grater
“Sure. Go ahead, boo me. It ain’t going to change the way I play. That’s going to make me smile more. So please, come on with it,” aspiring villain Jimmy Butler told Wolves reporter Jon Krawczynski a week ago....