Locker Page 225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hater's Guide To The MLB Playoffs
The baseball season gets much stranger as it narrows down in October, which is not a novel observation but is one that is already proving itself out. Before we even recorded this week’s Deadcast, a Wild Card game had been decided in the dead of night on a hit by a backup catcher who was one of the ...
Today I Declare To You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Another Empty Congressional Hearing About Sexual Abuse In Sports Came And Went
With many of the cameras and reporters gone, the fourth Senate hearing about sexual abuse in Olympic sports took on a different tone. There was no yelling. There was no demanding of answers. CEOs of the organizations that oversee Olympic sports had a few chuckles. The grandstanding was gone, just th...
Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet?
Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is a body-care guru now. Partnering with a pair of business-bro whipdicks and a smattering of pro athletes, including NBA MVP James Harden, he’s launching a line of beauty products for athletes and men who want to pretend they are athletes. Here’s a link to an article about...
Nobody Was Prepared For The Horrors Modern Warfare Brought To Civilians
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
No One Involved In Putting Malik Monk Into Hornets Preseason Game Notices He Isn't Wearing A Jersey
Things like this will not help to defeat the perception that second-year Hornets guard Malik Monk is destined to settle in as a J.R. Smith/Nick Young-style NBA eccentric: ...
Please Do Not Stalk Jordan Bell
Last September, Warriors then-rookie Jordan Bell shared a photo on Instagram from the balcony of his apartment in Oakland, which was sufficient for observant and/or obsessive Warriors fans to pinpoint exactly where he and his girlfriend were laying their heads. According to a report from The Mercury...
Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Look Back!<em></em>
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don’t let the bastards grind you down....
Horse Walks Into Bar, Fucks It Up
There you are, enjoying a nice beverage at a sports betting bar in France, when—bam, there’s a horse in the damn establishment and it’s wrecking all your shit....
You And I Are Eating Too Much Chicken<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Gritty, weddings, pissing in the woods, and more....
Mexican Rodeo Will Blow Your Chaps Off
Charros, the Mexican gentlemen horsemen from whom mariachis take their suits, are arguably the original cowboy. The word chaps, for example, is said to come from the Spanish word chaparreras, mesteños from the Spanish for mustangs, and lasso is basically lazo with stodgier spelling....
Ass Team Of The Week: Do Not Ever Feel That You Must Respect The Dolphins
This is my favorite part of the NFL season, in part because I get a certain thrill out of watching teams that roar off to surprisingly hot starts being put ruthlessly back into their places. I feel like I’ve lived through seven or eight NFL seasons that began with, like, the Buffalo Bills going 3-0,...
Maybe Kobe Bryant Didn't Flinch Because He Had No Reason To
On March 7, 2010, the Church of Kobestan found its holy sacrament in a Lakers-Magic regular-season game. Sports goblin Matt Barnes was inbounding the ball on the right sideline. He faked a pass directly into Kobe Bryant’s face and Kobe Bryant—he of the hyper-competitive, killer-instinct mentality, t...
Report: Crowdfunding Drives For College Football Player In Critical Condition Shut Down Over Fear Of NCAA Violations
Tennessee State sophomore Christion Abercrombie suffered a devastating head injury in the first half of his team’s loss to Vanderbilt Saturday. According to Tennessee State head coach Rod Reed, Abercrombie suffered the injury while “taking on a block” during an otherwise typical football play, and c...
Ron Baker Sucked A Contact Lens And Then Put It Right In His Damn Eye<em></em>
Ron Baker played 17 mostly second-half minutes in Monday night’s Knicks preseason game, which went to overtime. It was in overtime, with just under a minute left, when Baker was whacked in the face by Wizards rookie Troy Brown and had his contact lens dislodged. Lacking a few drops of nice clean sal...
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan Thompson ran his mouth about the LeBron-less Cavs still being the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Also last week Markieff Morris felt it sensible to declare that the Boston C...
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
<i>NBA 2K19</i>'s Brand Humping Is Craven, Shameless, And Straight-Up Evil
If you have read anything about the NBA 2K series in the past couple years, then you know that its centerpiece “MyCareer” mode, in which you guide a custom-created fledgling NBA player to stardom, is a hyper-branded, microtransaction-choked nightmare all but explicitly designed to pressure human pla...
LeBron, In A Lakers Uniform, Doing LeBron Stuff
The Los Angeles Lakers opened their preseason last night in San Diego. Who cares! I don’t care. The NBA should shut up for at least another couple weeks. Did they win? Who were their opponents? Who led them in scoring? Don’t care!...