Locker Page 267 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Warriors Are Infuriatingly Too Pretty To Hate
The Pelicans had earned a fleeting lead towards the end of Game 5's second quarter last night. They’d sunk five straight shots from four different guys, with the one-browed god Anthony Davis doubling up on feral dunks. Both these teams are lean and love to run, and at this point the tempo was furiou...

Don't Cook Chicken In A Fucking Dishwasher
Earlier today, while waiting on my porch for some delivery guys to turn up, I checked in on what was happening in Deadspin’s work chat—my job requires me to surveil the staffs of the various Gizmodo Media Group sites to make sure they’re diligently working for the betterment of our corporate overlor...

The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...

Charles Barkley And Shaq Got Each Other Steaming Mad By Yelling About Some Stupid Shit
In the right corner: Charles Barkley, man who thinks coaches need to have great relationships with their best players in order to win. In the left: Shaq, who would like to use his history being a toxic shitheel as proof that players and coaches can win while hating each other. What follows is a fail...
![Pissbaby Duke Administrator Gets Baristas Fired For Listening To Rap Music [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ee1lhth1cfcz9zmyo4vs.jpg)
Pissbaby Duke Administrator Gets Baristas Fired For Listening To Rap Music [Update]
If you’ve ever spent time around people blessed with a particular combination of self-absorbtion and privilege, this story, from Indy Week, about a Duke administrator getting two campus baristas fired for daring to listen to rap music while on the job won’t really shock you. It will make you mad as ...

Oh Hey Guys What's Up?
For exclusive videos, pictures, and more, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Send us your confidential tips at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, contact our writers directly, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system....

Chris Paul Stuck The Dagger In The Jazz
Chris Paul is advancing beyond the second round for the first time in his NBA career, and he did so by putting the Rockets on his back for their 112-102 Game 5 win against the Jazz. Paul got a new playoff high of 41 points, with 10 assists, seven boards, and no turnovers. And after Jazz rookie Donov...

Adeiny Hechavarria Leaves Game After Being Hit In The Face By Ball That Ricocheted Off A Speaker, And Then The Ground<em></em>
Adeiny Hechavarria left tonight’s game against the Braves in the top of the eighth inning when a Ronald Acuña Jr. pop foul struck a speaker suspended from the stadium roof, ricocheted back into the field of play, then bounced off the turf and struck the Rays shortstop square in the face as he attemp...

Deadspin Up All Night: A Different Story<em></em>
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Notice whom for wheels are turning. ...

Policeman Provokes Groundhog To Walk Into Road So He Can Shoot It Twice
The next time someone tells you Blue Lives Matter is a misguided, stupid slogan, show them this....

Khaki Shorts Enthusiasts Brawl At Charity Cornhole Tournament
The chamber of commerce in Georgia’s Douglas County holds an annual charity cornhole tournament, the point of which is to raise money for a local scholarship fund. This year, that tournament also served as a place for some husky men in shorts to throw haymakers at each other....

Down With Decorative Pillows!
Hello and welcome to the Funbag! The last time I filled in for Drew, I took over the sex and fantasy football mailbag that he started for Kissing Suzy Kolber, a poorly named blog of a bygone era. I am presently unemployed, so if Drew turns up dead and I’m writing this column again next week, I didn’...

What's Eating Rodney Hood?
In the second postseason of his career, Rodney Hood has done very little to speak of. So far the Cavs’ trade deadline pickup has coughed up 4.6 points a game on 40-percent shooting from the floor and just 13-percent shooting from the arc, making him an especially useless cog in a LeBron Plus Shooter...

OK, Roenick, That's Enough<em></em>
For exclusive videos, pictures, and more, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Send us your confidential tips at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, contact our writers directly, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system....

Raptors Barely Bother To Show Up For Their Last Game Of The Season
Let’s get this straight first off: the Raptors were dead the moment LeBron James’s floater went off the backboard and through the net to end Game 3. But at the very least, the number one seed in the East could have put up a fight before packing their bags for summer vacation. Instead, Toronto laid d...

T.J. McConnell Saves The Sixers From A Sweep
A last-second surprise from Sixers coach Brett Brown proved to be the difference-maker in his team’s Game 4 against the Celtics. For only the second time all season, reserve Philly point guard T.J. McConnell got a spot in the starting lineup, replacing small forward Robert Covington, who had failed ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Be Near The Mic When The On Button Switch
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....

Pistons Fire Stan Van Gundy, And It Looks Like The Coach-GM Hybrid Job Is Dying
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported today that Stan Van Gundy has “parted ways” with the Detroit Pistons after four years of serving as the team’s coach and general manager. Van Gundy had one year remaining on a five-year, $35 million deal he signed in 2014, and Pistons owner Tom Gores said the chang...

Kylia Carter's Speech Against The NCAA Model Got Right To The Point
On Monday, the Knight Commission on Intercollegiate Athletics hosted a series of panel discussions focused on the NCAA’s amateurism model. While important names like Jay Bilas and Tom Yeager served as headliners, the most refreshing comments of the morning came from the mother of former Duke standou...

You Check Ben Simmons The Same Way You Defend A Campsite
When I look at Philadelphia 76ers guard Ben Simmons, I see a very tall and extremely talented young basketball player with a resting dick face and no jump shot. When Boston Celtics coach Brad Stevens looks at him, he sees a curious foraging bear. For this reason, he is a basketball coaching genius....