Locker Page 716 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Bears Wrestled Over Some Garbage
This soft-ass wrestling match between two bear cubs who were trying to eat garbage broke out in New Jersey this week. Two things:...
Tell Us Your Dumbest Food Mishaps
My brother once ate an entire wedge of brie thinking it was pie. The story goes like this:...
"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh
Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...
Who's Up For Some Weird Grilled Meat And Jefferson Davis Pie?
The Woe of Cooking is an ongoing fiasco where the guy who does the Beer Idiot unearths the weirdest, grossest recipes he can find in The Joy of Cooking. Last week he cooked Quick Fish Loaf; this time he’s settling for red meat and pie. Okay have fun....
Hyper-Violent Cartoon Westerns Don't Get Better (Or Weirder) Than This
If you get hopelessly lost watching the 2008 South Korean adventure The Good, the Bad, the Weird, don’t worry about it. You’re not alone. In fact, during the absurd and complicated horses-and-jeeps-and-motorcycles chase that ends the movie, some of the bandits ask each other, “Who’s that?” when anot...
<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...
Warriors Beat Rockets As James Harden Can't Get Final Shot Off
James Harden was brilliant all game, putting up a ridiculous 38/10/9 line without a ton of help from his non-Dwight Howard teammates. But on the final play of the game, down 99-98 with seven seconds to attack a scrambling Warriors defense, Harden inexplicably passed the ball to Howard, and when he g...
Will Smith Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brewers pitcher Will Smith earned an ejection tonight from crew chief Jim Joyce after Braves skipper Fredi Gonzalez raised an objection over the existence of a foreign substance on Smith’s wrist....
Deadspin Up All Night: Have A Staycation
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Be cool....
J.R. Smith Is Quite Possibly Too Real
J.R. Smith is a gift. Not only did we receive his 28-point, 8-of-12-from-downtown night in the Cavs’ Game 1 win, but we got to hear him talk about it. And there’s nothing quite like J.R. Smith explaining what he does....
A Civilian's Guide To The U.S. Military
We Americans love a lot of things about ourselves, and perhaps nothing more so than our military. Like many things about the U.S., it’s bigger than its international equivalents, with a budget that is larger than the next eight largest military budgets in the world combined. It has a footprint in al...
"School's Out" Forever: The Secret History Of Alice Cooper's Classic
Before he became the makeup-wearing, chicken-killing, parent-scaring degenerate known as Alice Cooper, Vincent Furnier was a happy kid. He loved art, ran cross country, and fronted a band that booked so many gigs in his hometown of Phoenix that he had the money to buy a 1966 Ford Fairlane GT 390 by ...
NCAA Rules Make Pitt's Pat Narduzzi Sound Like A Huge Creep
New Pitt football coach Pat Narduzzi talked about the upcoming season and expectations at an event Wednesday in Philadelphia. Because of NCAA recruitment rules involving conversations between football coaches and high school players, everyone in attendance was made aware that Narduzzi “is not permit...
It's Time To Bring Back The Six-Pack
One foolish afternoon a long, long time ago, Drunkspin risked a lifetime banishment from the good graces of the Craft Beer Movement by suggesting that even the very finest beers—the ones with corks and waiting lists and wicked kickass dragons and/or puns on the labels—contain alcohol, which has been...
Jokes From David Letterman's Final Top 10 List, Ranked
10. Bill Murray...
DeMarre Carroll's Knee Is Going To Be Okay
When Hawks small forward DeMarre Carroll buckled his right knee last night and spent the next few minutes writhing on the floor in agony, it sure as hell looked like the Hawks had just lost their best perimeter defender to a catastrophic knee injury. But today brings good news!...
Foo Fighters-Backed Letterman Closing Montage Is Mindblowing
Larry ‘Bud’ Melman! Drew Barrymore flashing! The GE fruit basket incident! Andy Kaufman! Late Show with David Letterman packed those and more into a furious closing montage last night that featured 562 different memorable moments from Letterman’s 33 years on late-night TV. (We counted.) The sports p...
Kyle Korver Just Wants To Live, Man
One of the fun things about LeBron James is that he is so impossibly big, fast, and strong that he can turn a crunch-time possession in a playoff game, one which his opponents desperately needed to end with a stop, into a basic fight-or-flight situation....
Tonight Was The Good Kind Of J.R. Smith Game
Tonight was a J.R. Smith Game. That is a terrifying sentence to read for anybody who has ever been a fan of a team that J.R. Smith played for. A J.R. Smith Game is one in which he does something inexplicably stupid, like elbowing somebody in the head. A J.R. Smith Game is one in which he plays terri...
Letterman Guests: "Top Ten Things I've Always Wanted To Say To Dave"
David Letterman’s final Top Ten list featured some of the late night host’s most legendary guests each announcing “something they’ve always wanted to say to Dave.” Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, Barbara Walters, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Peyton Manning, Tina Fey, and ...