Locker Page 717 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"I'm Not Getting <i>The Tonight Show</i>"; Watch Letterman's Final Monologue
Tonight is David Letterman’s last show after 33 years of hosting late night television. Here’s his final opening monologue, in which he looks back on his decades of work. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: I'll See You In The Morning
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep the beat going....

Is Trophy Beer Getting Too Damn Expensive?
Let me begin by declaring my love for the Maine Beer Company. I’ve tried 11 of the 13 beers listed on their website, and while there are a few I might not bother with again, none are outright disappointing, and several are excellent. I’ve never had their shiniest trophy brew, a double India pale ale...

Oh Hell Yeah, This Song From Jamie XX, Young Thug, And Popcaan Rules
Alert, alert! This is a Good Vibes Alert from the Good Vibes Alert Network: Put this song, “I Know (There’s Gonna Be Good Times),” a collaboration from Jamie XX, Young Thug, and Popcaan on the nearest loudspeaker immediately. Turn the volume all the way up. Wave your arms, even if it’s in a weird wa...

This Mascot Is A Piece Of Poop. It's Poop.
Reader Kyle alerts us to the existence of Mr. Dingle, the official mascot of California’s Victor Valley Wastewater Reclamation Authority. Mr. Dingle is poop....

There's A Mushroom Growing In My Tub!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Deadcast: What Makes A Team A Fraud?
I’ve been enjoying these NBA playoffs quite a bit despite the fact that all the NERDY BASKETBLOG NERDS on the Deadspin staff have told me that every team involved in these games is a fucking fraud....

Zen Koans, As Brought To You By ESPN's Neil Everett
“It’s like the scarecrow in Oz, you get too close to the fire, eventually.. you’re going to get burned. Heh.”...

Potential Double OT-Winning Goal Disallowed For Being Too Awesome
Hockey players regularly play soccer in the locker room before games, and Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw pulled his best Ronaldo impression when he headed in a goal that left the city of Chicago thinking they’d won Game 2 of the Western Conference Final in double overtime. But no! It turns out that’...

76ers Win Right To Trade Somebody For Two Second-Rounders In 2017
Well, it was worth it. At long last, it was worth it. The two forfeited seasons, the lottery picks spent on bum legs, the young players traded for assets, the assets traded for lesser assets, the draft lottery letting the Heat and Lakers keep their picks instead of shipping them to Philly, the TED t...

Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...

Deadspin Up All Night: Do What I Wanna Do
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....

A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...

How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...

A Zac Efron Movie About DJs: Why?
Alternate headlines for this post include: Don’t Make Movies About DJs, Just Don’t; See Dozens Of White Boys Jump Into A Pool; and What Steve Aoki Hath Wrought. Inspired by Diplo’s Instagram account and written by a fifth-year named Tad with a closet full of neon tanks, here is a trailer for a movie...

The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...

How To Watch James Harden, The Loathsome Genius
Hi, casual basketball fan! As you’re likely aware, the NBA’s conference finals begin tonight. In the Eastern Conference, the Atlanta Hawks will take on the Cleveland Cavaliers. In the West, the Golden State Warriors will face the Houston Rockets—and their star guard, James Harden....

Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" Video Is Not A Feminist Manifesto
Taylor Swift, the ambassador of zero chill, spent nine days advertising the debut of her music video for “Bad Blood,” which finally aired during Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards. The song is the worst track from her chart-topping album, 1989; the new version is redeemed only by an appearance fr...

