Locker Page 769 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Laptop Of Thor: <i>Blackhat, </i>Reviewed
1. Blackhat plays like a parody of a Michael Mann movie, which is depressing, given that it is a Michael Mann movie. He's one of my favorite filmmakers, with such a unique, distinct, relentlessly focused vision that you forgive all his shortcomings, from the deadly self-seriousness to the existenc...

How To Be A Beer Enthusiast Without Being A Beer Asshole
Beer is so, so good. All of it gets you drunk, and a lot of it even tastes good in the process! What more could you ask for? Maybe just a quick little primer on how to get the most out of the experience? What's that? "No," you say? "Fuck that," in fact, you say?...

Please God Let Adam Silver Be Serious About An NBA Version Of The FA Cup
NBA commissioner Adam Silver had the integrity to witness for himself the crime against sport that was the Knicks-Bucks game in London yesterday. While Brits probably didn't learn anything useful about our sports by watching the worst of what we have to offer, Silver might've taken something posit...

NCAA Screws Bobby Bowden Out Of All-Time Wins Record
Former Penn State head coach Joe Paterno just became Division I college football's all-time wins leader, thanks to a late-game victory over the NCAA. Congrats to Joe!...

Pretty Hurts: Why The Steely <i>Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon </i>Holds Up
There is a lot of fighting in 2000's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but almost none of the blows look like they hurt. The one really painful attack here—the one where you sort of recoil from the screen—is when one woman tells another woman that they're not friends anymore, that they could never b...

The Knicks And Bucks Played A Knicks-Bucks Game, But In London
I can't figure out whether the American sports-league practice of sending our shittiest, most boring teams to London is intended to punish the teams, or the English, or what. Clearly somebody is being punished, here, right? Why else do it?...

Kitten Bowl Player Names, Ranked
Cat puns are the highest form of humor. Now that Hallmark Channel has unveiled the roster for this year's Kitten Bowl, it's time to subjectively and correctly rank the competitors' names....

The Reluctant Man's Guide To Shaving Your Legs
Though it may be hard to picture, there may come a day when you will have to shave your hairy, manly legs. Maybe you want to see if you can cut some time off your 200m breaststroke. Maybe all your serious cycling buddies are doing it. Maybe you want to look especially fabulous for your company's a...

Screencap Classix: The Tressel Stinkeye
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Kobe And LeBron Spent A Great Game Being Old And Having Fun
They've both been banged-up, they've been frustrated, their supporting casts not carrying the load of some of the great teammates of the past, and if last night's Cavaliers win over the Lakers brought out the best in Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, the whole thing had the melancholy tinge of a World...

For Maybe The First Time This Season, Kobe And LeBron Have Some Fun
Neither Kobe Bryant nor LeBron James has had a very enjoyable season. Kobe is fighting an increasingly sclerotic body and plays for the hopeless Lakers, while LeBron has already missed his most games in a season ever and plays for the dramatically underwhelming Cavaliers. But in a narrow Cavs win ...

For Some Reason, Doc Rivers Thinks Austin Rivers Is The Solution
Basically everyone agrees that the Los Angeles Clippers’s biggest weakness is wing defense. To reach the NBA Finals, the Clippers will have to make it through players like Kevin Durant, James Harden, Klay Thompson, and Kawhi Leonard—and that’s just in the Western Conference. To stop these wing score...

Deadspin Up All Night: Chorus Full Of Actors
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Excelsior....

Map: Each State's Most Distinctive Cuisine
Here's a fun map, put together by the Huffington Post using data from Yelp, that shows each state's biggest cuisine outliers. We're all so predictable!...

An Enormous, Terrifying Hippo
I don't know which is the scariest part of this video, the lurking wave the hippo generates while underwater, its speed when it arcs out and shows its head, or the size of the sucker when you finally get to see its body. This is why you can't trust animals....

How To Ride A Bike In The City
I'm totally going to jinx myself by typing this, but here goes: After 10 years of religious urban bike-riding, nothing terrible has happened to me. I've never been doored or side-swiped, my bike has never been stolen outright (though parts of it have), and I've never caught a flat while flying down ...

One Day We'll Be Too Lazy To Watch Football
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

Oscar Nominations Won’t Solve A Fucking Thing
Okay, so the Oscar nominations came out this morning, and all of the acting categories feature white nominees, and all the Best Picture nominees are stories about dudes. As you can imagine, the Problem Internet was not pleased with this development. We go right to the takes!...

Quiz: Which Member Of Migos Are You?
You'd be hard pressed to find a rap group buzzing louder than Migos, the Atlanta trio that quickly rose to prominence in 2013 when Drake remixed their infectious mixtape cut "Versace" and transformed them from underground sensations into web icons. They've since ascended to greatness within Atla...

A Belgian Beer From Quebec, Perfect For The End Of The World
This marks the first year in at least the past 10 that I have not resolved to learn even the basics of a foreign language. My monolinguism is deplorable, considering that I aim to communicate for a living and have had plenty of opportunity to learn other tongues over the years. But I've never made...