Locker Page 796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Potatoes Au Gratin, A Step Beyond Good Ol' Mashed Taters
Hey, look, mashed potatoes are wonderful. They're smooth and hearty and comforting; they land in your stomach with a satisfying, almost audible whump; they are the food equivalent of dropping your entire body onto a soft, overstuffed sofa. Kids love them, grownups love them, everybody loves them. ...
Lil B Confirms Kevin Durant's Injury Caused By The Based God's Curse
Lil B was at MIT last night, giving what The FADER called "a groundbreaking lecture" at the school's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. The lecture sounds like it was quite the event, "presenting nuanced observations on workplace efficiency, human empathy, and GMOs," as well as...
"Yale Cites Wikipedia": Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
ESPN's College GameDay crew is in Cambridge this morning for today's decisive Yale-Harvard game, and the Crimson snooty-snoots brought out their best for this morning's show. Here's the top signs that aired on TV today:...
Dion Waiters Goes For Dunk, Gets Destroyed, Is Terrible
Millennial Dion Waiters stinks and is bad; tonight against the Wizards, he tried to dunk on Kevin Seraphin and got stoned—with both hands!—directly to hell. My favorite part is Jon Barry and Mike Breen both initially assuming it must have been a foul, before watching the replay and realizing, yep, ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Wash My Soul
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep up the good work....
Panda Bear Takes Some Snow Tumbles, Knows What Livin' Is All About
The snow might be wrecking everyone else's shit right now, but it's treating this big panda bear named Da Mao pretty well. ...
Shadow Boxing: Lessons About Life, Death, And Writing, From <em>Rocky</em>
Originally published in the Georgia Review and later anthologized in the Pushcart Prize XXXIII: Best of the Small Presses....
This Is The Best Store-Brand Beer
My wife is very thrifty and low-maintenance, so for the first two years of our relationship, I resisted pointing out that we could buy two yachts or pay off our student loans if she'd just please switch from Advil to a generic pain reliever. It was frustrating, but she doesn't ask for much, so I fig...
No One Can Do The "OOH WAH AH AH AH" Part From That Disturbed Song
Even if you despise Disturbed and their chode-rock anthem "Down With the Sickness," you know what it is. And you know the part at the beginning when lead singer David Draiman hoarsely yells, "OOH WAH AH AH AH." After googling the phrase—initially looking for the five-minute "endurance test"—I found ...
Nickelback Are Not The Problem
Like eating hot wings rubbed with ghost chilies or swimming to Alcatraz, listening to a new Nickelback album requires an intrepid spirit, a certain pain tolerance, and a thirst for endorphins. Among the many scintillating things you can say about this band—and there are many, and we will say them—is...
Doctoral Degrees, Ranked By Legitimacy
1. Medical doctor (M.D.)...
K.J. McDaniels's Mom Is Sick And Tired Of The Sixers Tanking
The tanking-ass Sixers are gross and bad, and this fact has not gone unnoticed by Sixers guard K.J. McDaniels's mom. Recently, she took to Twitter to let people know that she does not appreciate the Sixers' bullshit....
<em>Total Recall</em> Was Fucking Awesome
During the first scene of the original 1990 Total Recall, Arnold Schwarzenegger's head explodes. It's just a dream sequence, and the camera cuts away before his face actually pops open. But the fact remains: One of the biggest summer blockbusters of its era opens by forcing you to contemplate the mo...
TV On The Radio Still Sound Like The Future
Pretty rough year for last decade's biggest NYC bands, right? The Rapture quietly broke up. The Walkmen followed up their 2013 "extreme hiatus" announcement with strong but unsung solo albums from Hamilton Leithauser and Peter Matthew Bauer. Interpol released an album that sounds like them and bea...
There Are A Lot Of Things Wrong With This Bill Cosby Graphic
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Shaq Attempts The Cookie Face Challenge
You may know it as the cookie face challenge, the face the cookie challenge, the oreo challenge, or some other name. Whatever you call it, Shaq attempted it on the set of Inside the NBA tonight. It's pretty entertaining watching Shaq weirdly scrunch his face, but here are five food-related chall...
Deadspin Up All Night: My Razor Blade Is Tailor Made
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let's go....
The Amazing True Story Of My Exploding Balls
The hardest part was shaving my balls. Before you go in for your vasectomy, the literature says, you should hop in the shower and shave all the hair off the surgical area. I called the office the day before surgery to confirm that I had to do this....
Sad Sixers Make Sad Pizza Deal Even Sadder
In October, Papa John's announced one of those standard promotions they run where if the Sixers win a game, fans get 50 percent off their pizza. They've wisely changed that threshold to "if the Sixers score 90 points, even in a loss."...
Watch Jason Kidd Play Mind Games With Joe Johnson
This is a cool moment from last night's triple-OT thriller between the Bucks and Nets. Just before the last possession of the second overtime, cameras caught Bucks (and former Nets) head coach Jason Kidd going at the Nets' huddle with some well-timed chirping....