Locker Page 824 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Declares Big Ten, ACC "Not Power Five Conferences"
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Deadspin Up All Night: Gonna Break Even
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Come back around tomorrow....

Whoa, Man, This Pork Tenderloin <em>Really</em> Looks Like A Dong
I mean, I'm basically taking tipster Robert's word for it that that really is a tenderloin and not some kind of super fucked-up sex practice. That is one dong-lookin'-ass tenderloin! ...

Prince Songs To Fuck To, Ranked
Prince released two new records this week. And since Art Official Age and PlectrumElectrum (as with all releases from the world's most seductive singer) are loaded with sexiness, it's an appropriate time to attempt to quantify his past sexiness. Let's do this....

This Beer Is Salty And Sour And You Will Love It To Death
Welcome back to Drunkspin's Sub-Five Friday, wherein we endeavor to ease you into the weekend armed with a recommendation for a lower-alcohol beer that will help you keep up with your day-drinking responsibilities without making a battered and bruised fool out of yourself. We'll stop running this st...

At Least Oregon Won The Hair Game
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We Occasionally Feel Sympathy For Umpires
[Better know umpire and new soprano Paul Nauert.]...

NBA Jam Teams, Ranked
1. Utah Jazz - Karl Malone and John Stockton...

Tonight's Vikings-Packers Game, In One GIF
If you decided not to tune into tonight's NFL game, well, you made the right decision....

Deadspin Up All Night: You Don't Wanna Save Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Facts....

Stevie Wonder Is Not Blind: The Truthers' Case
Earlier today, my esteemed colleague Drew Magary dropped "A Field Guide To American Truthers," in which the Big Daddy flamboyantly summarized some of the most common conspiracies in American culture. Within minutes, of course, readers took to Kinja and Twitter to add conspiracies we left out. One ...

The NFL Is Having Its Steroid Moment
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

<em>The Man From Nowhere</em> Is The Fucked-Up South Korean Blockbuster For You
The villains of the 2010 South Korean movie The Man From Nowhere are bad, bad people. How bad? They kidnap unwanted kids for use as drug-lab slave labor. When one passes out in the smack sweatshop, a heavy rolls his eyes and says, "Kids are so dramatic." Then he barks at the rest of 'em to get back ...

Genius Bear Is Too Smart And Strong For Bullshit-Ass Electric-Deer Gag
Some scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and thoroughly torn...

Thirteen Ways Of Looking At Greg Maddux
A record producer friend once told me that Check Your Head, the Beastie Boys' 3rd album, was perfectly realized. That's stuck with me over the years, the idea of being able to achieve something that lives up to your ambition. In a 1978 Playboy Interview, Bob Dylan said: "The closest I ever got to t...

The Russians Have Stolen Our Original IPA Formula, But It's Still Tasty
India pale ale is far and away America's favorite style of craft beer (at least during the handful of months when there isn't pumpkin juice all over the goddamn place), which is why it made sense for Pabst Brewing to announce late this summer that they were resurrecting Ballantine IPA....

A Field Guide To American Truthers
There were no truthers back in the 20th century. I grew up in the Golden Age of Kennedy Assassination Conspiracies, but the word "truther" was never used to describe Oliver Stone or any of the other folks who decried the Magic Bullet theory. (DISCLOSURE: I saw JFK when I was in high school and took...


