Locker Page 877 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>The Americans</em> Should Let The Russians Win
There's plenty at stake on tonight's season-two finale of FX's The Americans. If you're the gambling sort, take the over on body count (2.5), goofy wigs (7.5), shocking betrayals of one's country (1.5), and sparingly deployed and thus even more badass '80s-pop-classic montages (0.5; last year's fina...

Bill Simmons Lays Out Nonsensical Theory About LeBron James
At the half during last night's Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game, ESPN multiplatform presence Bill Simmons offered up a remarkable theory to explain why LeBron James came out slowly in the game. James, he speculated, may have been distracted by the results of the NBA draft lottery, in which his former...

Hero Cat "Throws" Out First Pitch
Tara the tabby, who saved her human from an attacking dog, threw out the first pitch at last night's Bakersfield Blaze game. As you might expect, since cats care nothing for pageantry and have useless muppet paws instead of hands, it was one of the worst first pitches in recorded history. #SticktoHe...

NBA: Donald Sterling Tried To Pay V. Stiviano To Claim Audio Was Faked
The Los Angeles Times has reviewed the NBA's formal written case against Donald Sterling, and the biggest of the new allegations contained within is a claim that Sterling attempted to buy off V. Stiviano to say her audio recording was altered....

Learning to Surf Without Feeling
Another story that's worth your time. Erik Hedegaard's memoir piece for Outside:...

An Improbable Tennis Prodigy
Dig this fine story by Liz Clarke for the Washington Post:...

The Dogs Of War
The latest from Michael Paterniti is strong stuff:...

Cleveland Cavaliers Win NBA Draft Lottery For Top Pick
For the third time in four years, the Cleveland Cavaliers have won the lottery for the top pick in the NBA Draft....

Deadspin Up All Night: Industry Rule #4080
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Queensbridge. ...

Lasagna Disaster Inspires Incredible Headline
Yes, that is a real front page, from the May 16 edition of the Gaffney Ledger in South Carolina. Note that the headline isn't a quote, but an editorial decision to use "LASAGNA WAS EVERYWHERE" in huge font above the fold. The full story describes the high-octane lasagna accident in necessary detail....

Which Famous Singers Have The Widest Vocal Ranges?
Concerthotels.com has put together a neat interactive showcasing the (in-studio) vocal ranges of over 7o famous figures. The top of the list is above. Axl Rose is your surprising victor, but the high notes are the crowd-pleasers, and here, Mariah Carey—with her insane G7—stands alone....

The Trashiest Tattoo Locations, Ranked
Before we get to the Funbag, a couple of things. First off, to commemorate the paperback release ofSomeone Could Get Hurt, I'm gonna do a reading at the Dodge City bar here in D.C. on Wednesday night. We'll start around 8:30 p.m, and I promise not to read for too long, because no one ever likes th...

Watch Every Single Three-Pointer Steph Curry Made This Season
He didn't quite keep his record-breaking pace from last season, but watching Steph Curry splash threes for 17 uninterrupted minutes is still a great time....

H-U-S-T-L-E-R
The great John Lardner's take on Titanic Thompson (True, 1951):...

<em>The Maya Rudolph Show</em> Is Half-Man, Half-Muppet, And All Woman
"Men invented nepotism and practically live by it. It's okay for women to do it, too." All week long, I've been thinking about that quote from Roxane Gay's forthcoming essay collection, Bad Feminist—a prayer-hands-emoji-inducing aphorism that echoed again during last night's premiere of The Maya Rud...

Foul Ball-Seeking Angels Fan Absolutely Wrecks Old Woman
The most painful part of this video? The poor old woman crying out, "My shoulder!"...

Pantomime Cunnilingus And Blowjob: Braves Fan Covers All The Bases
So, here is a dude on the SportsSouth Braves feed doing the ol' blowjob and cunnilingus routine behind home plate. There's not a whole lot to praise here, but we do appreciate his open-mindedness and willingness to please when it comes to pantomiming oral sex....

Deadspin Up All Night: We Getting It Done
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Basketball!...

Kid Asks Kanye To Sign His Yeezys; Kanye Tells Him They Are Fake
Tough break, kid, but if you have to choose one way to find out that your Yeezys are fake, hearing it from the mouth of Yeezus himself is probably the best-case scenario....