For anyone that has ever thought that what running has been missing is cutoff overalls, Lululemon has swooped in to corner the market.

Called "The Runsie," this running outfit offers zero support in the form of a sports bra—no, those are sold separately. The Runsie is basically hideous outerwear that requires purchasing additional products to actually be able to use it. But, hey, it has a secret stash pocket for your keys! Or antidepressants!


"We made this easy onesie to keep us cool and collected when we're pounding the pavement," Lululemon's copy gurus write. Then why make it in black, long known for its heat-absorbtion? Or in the color above, which can only be described as the Ghost of Flowers Past?

In fact, the only pavement this outfit is fit to pound would be some remote backroad away from the general public, who should righteously receive this fitness abortion by dumping their cold-pressed juices in the wearer's lap. (In a moment of prescience, its creators chose a moisture-wicking material.)

Lululemon's stock is in free fall, its founder and board of directors are deadlocked in a Roman power struggle, and the buyers are circling. With mommy and daddy fighting all the time, no one has minded the designers, who are running amok. And now the Runsie has happened.