Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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Today, Miami Marlins outfielder Christian Yelich tweeted, then deleted the following:

A false and defamatory video was tweeted about me the past 24hrs. It is 100% not me in the video. My attorneys are looking into it

The “false and defamatory video” in question was a clip of a man nose-deep in a taint, which could and can be found on the NSFW account known as @squirters:

From whatever’s left on Twitter, it seems that someone by the name of @RealMarlinsFan shared the video within the last 24 hours and—as a joke or not—said that it was Yelich. That account was deleted. Yelich (or someone who manages Yelich) felt that the video had fueled a story significant enough to prompt an actual denial that it was he, Christian Yelich, who was tenderly smooching a butt. It’s difficult to see how a person watching the video would think that was actually Yelich, though, because a lot of his face is obscured:


Yelich and the man in the video both have very nice eyebrows.

The saga got even weirder when Yelich removed the denial. Does the deletion mean that Yelich is actually in the clip? It’s a question worth asking, and not just because it’s July and I’m bored.


H/t to Pablo

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