We know we're wading into dangerous territory — a sport that will openly confess to not understanding, to our own detriment, we're sure — but everybody tells us this is a big deal, so we'll run with it: Manchester United soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo has been arrested on suspicion of rape. He's a first-team regular for the team, and a starter for the Portuguese national team. He cost a pretty penny when United bought him a few years ago, about 12m, and they even game him David Beckham's number 7 jersey. He was also ManU's player of the year in 2003-04. Few details are known about the arrest so far, including whether or not Ronaldo allegedly used his hands. In America, we have sex boat orgies; leave it to the Brits and Portugese to keep their felonius activities old-fashioned.
ManU Star Ronaldo Arrested On Rape Charge [BBC News]