Mankind's 10 Stages Of Drunkenness, According To Our Best Sportswriter

In honor of his new book (and in grudging acknowledgment of Frat Boy Thanksgiving), we give you Dan Jenkins's famous list, from Baja Oklahoma:

Witty and Charming.

Rich and Powerful.

Benevolent.

Clairvoyant.

Fuck Dinner.

Patriotic.

Crank Up the Enola Gay.

Witty and Charming, Part II.

Invisible.

Bulletproof.

If you're unfamiliar with Jenkins, start with Bryan Curtis's great profile on Grantland, then work your way through the Sports Illustrated archives, beginning here.

More Jenkins: The Masters Its Ownself