Marco Rubio: The Recount Is Like Booting The Helmet Sport Ball Through The Yellow Poles

I’m not going to subject you to this entire embarrassing conspiracy theory-pus thread posted tonight by bloodless dipshit Marco Rubio—a man who would finish off the podium in a Marco Rubio lookalike contest—but I would like to draw as much attention as possible to the fact that Rubio tried to pander to ostensible sports fans by analogizing about a “3 pt kick.”

Rubio should know more about the rules of the prolate spheroid sport; after all, his only notable campaign moment was doming some poor Iowan kid with a throw.