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Marco Rubio: The Recount Is Like Booting The Helmet Sport Ball Through The Yellow Poles

Photo: Alex Wong (Getty)

I’m not going to subject you to this entire embarrassing conspiracy theory-pushing thread posted tonight by bloodless dipshit Marco Rubio—a man who would finish off the podium in a Marco Rubio lookalike contest—but I would like to draw as much attention as possible to the fact that Rubio tried to pander to ostensible sports fans by analogizing about a “3 pt kick.”

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Rubio should know more about the rules of the prolate spheroid sport; after all, his only notable campaign moment was doming some poor Iowan kid with a throw.

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