Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•We received this photo without explanation, because, honestly, what explanation could there possibly be? (Although reader Matt offers that it might make a great scavenger hunt.) I have no idea what connection Cleaves and Ingram could have. (Besides both being from Flint. Thanks, you 200 emailers.) I have no idea whose baby that is. And I have no idea where Cleaves found that swank "Free Plaxico" shirt.

•The retirement watch begins for Kurt Warner and, surprisingly, Ed Reed. I was hoping that way a typo and they meant Ray Lewis, because Reed, though also a lifelong Raven and one-time monster on the defense, is actually liked by teammates and not washed up.

•The Colts continue their mastery of the Ravens and advance to the AFC title game, on the strength of four turnovers, each more disheartening than the last. Joe Flacco nearly quintupled his passer rating from last week, but at what point do we stop accepting "young QB" as an excuse and start wondering if he can get it done?

•No. 1 Texas got quite the scare from Texas A&M, but Damion James scored 26 points, seven of them in overtime, to seal the deal. They keep this up, and the Horns will be able to pull a Bizarro Florida and lose in both sports' title games in one year.

•More replay controversy! The Stars beat Detroit in the sixth round of the shootout on a Steve Ott goal that barely, if at all, trickled across the goal line. Also, "his foot was in the crease," yell thousands of bitter 1999 Buffalo fans.

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Good Sunday morning. If last weekend is enough of a sample size, we should expect at least one good playoff game today.