Messi, Beckham, Pelé Sign For An English Club You've Never Heard Of

This is so dumb.

In April, English soccer team Farnborough FC went into administration, and it was up in the air whether or not the Conference South side would be able to field a squad this season. But yesterday, it was announced that bookmaker Paddy Power had swooped in as Farnborough FC's main sponsor. They signed a kit deal with the club, and the stadium was renamed after the company. Paddy Power saved Farnborough from financial ruin, but of course there was a catch.

Farnborough's players each had to legally change their name to that of a soccer legend so that on paper, at least, Farnborough would be the greatest collection of players ever assembled. Scott Paul Donnelly became David Beckham. Oliver George Treacher is now Roberto Carlos. Daniel Bennett is legally Lionel Messi. You now have to call Reece Nicholas Jones George Best. And so on. Even manager Spencer Day changed his name.

"Over the summer it looked touch and go whether we’d even start the season," said Day, who now goes by José Mourinho. "But now we’ve got by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Although it’s not all good news, Pelé and Maradona have almost come to blows over who gets to wear the number 10."

So Paddy Power saves the club, pulling this stunt to get worldwide publicity in the process, while 21 families lose an heir. Of everyone, assistant manager Leigh James Thomas Dynan probably got the worst deal. He changed his name to Paddy Power.

Here are all of the team's name changes, from Paddy Power's blog:

Kevin Ainsley SCRIVEN – Gordon BANKSOliver George TREACHER – ROBERTO CARLOSJoshua Adam HUGGINS – Lothar MATTHAÜSAdam Hugh DOYLE – Paolo MALDINIAlan Francis INNS – Alan HANSENPaul Jinnah MASSAQUOI – CAFUNathan KOO-BOOTHE – Bobby MOOREThomas Andrew McGARRY – Franz BECKENBAUERReece Nicholas JONES – George BESTStephen Thomas LAIDLER – Paul GASCOIGNEScott Paul DONNELLY – David BECKHAMMerrick Anthony JAMES-LEWIS – Zinedine ZIDANETyrone Michael Justin BERRY – Johann CRUYFFDaniel BENNETT – Lionel MESSIReece William CONNOLLY – Gary LINEKERDavid Charles TARPEY – Diego MARADONAElvis Zark HAMMOND – PELÉSpencer DAY – José MOURINHOLeigh James Thomas DYNAN – Paddy POWERSimon John GARDENER – Sir Alex FergursonRoger Leslie PEIRCE – Terry Venables

[ Paddy Power]