Michael Bay Remakes Miracle With Skating Helicopter

[Michael Bay walks into Jerry Bruckheimer's office]

Bay: Brucks, I've got it, man. I've got it. What if, instead of beating the Russians in 1980 in a boring-ass rink in Lake Placid, Team USA is a motherfucking helicopter and the Russians are stupid Canadians on a stupid frozen lake in Canada.

Bruckheimer: What kind of music would we use?

Bay: [looks at Bruckheimer as if to say "please, you kidding me?" Hits play on remote, preloaded trailer begins playing on holographic projection screen out of middle of table]

Bruckheimer: [adjusts pants] I just invented a new source of currency. That's how much I believe in this project.

[ Bob's Blitz]