Newspaper Comics, Ranked

We’ve been reminiscing about the funny pages, which provoked the single most blisteringly, violently hot take in the history of our blog site: Andy Capp is superior to Calvin and Hobbes, according to one staffer. Most of the staff ratings were sane and good, however, so we’ve averaged them for your reading pleasure. Only those comics that received five ratings made the rankings, meaning some quality strips like Krazy Kat didn’t make the cut. You’ll notice the ratings drop precipitously after the first crop of talent, which should match your intuition: most syndicated comics are boring.

1. Calvin and Hobbes (9.63)

2. The Far Side (9.27)

3. Peanuts (8.45)

4. The Boondocks (8.00)

5. Bloom County (7.22)

6. FoxTrot (6.00)

6. Doonesbury (6.00)

8. Pearls Before Swine (5.20)

9. Get Fuzzy (4.60)

10. Zits (4.20)

11. Andy Capp (4.00)

12. Blondie (3.90)

13. Dick Tracy (3.75)

14. Garfield (3.73)

15. Wizard of Id (3.57)

16. For Better or For Worse (3.56)

17. Dilbert (3.50)

18. Hägar the Horrible (3.36)

19. Beetle Bailey (3.30)

20. Non Sequitur (3.17)

21. Hi and Lois (3.00)

22. Prince Valiant (2.83)

23. B.C. (2.78)

24. Marmaduke (2.42)

25. The Lockhorns (2.40)

26. Heathcliff (2.12)

27. Cathy (2.00)

28. Mark Trail (1.83)

29. Family Circus (1.70)

30. Ziggy (1.42)

31. Getting hit by a bicycling paperboy

32. Mary Worth (1.14)