First, go to winter training camp in Ethiopia and stay with that dope baller Geb! #Boomgettingitdone. That's Haile Gebrselassie there in the middle, notcher of 27 world records and a 26:22.75 10,000-meter guy. Of course, that was on the track, which is so so much faster than pounding out 6.2 miles on crummy cement, your ass bouncing off the back of your knees the whole way. But enough about Geb. He's merely hosting those other two gangstas.

That's double gold medalist (5,000 and 10,000 meters, 2012 Olympics) Mo Farah on the left, signaling he'll have two more teas with sugar. Or maybe a tea with two sugars. I'm not British so I don't know hand signals.

And on the right is Tucson's own Black Cactus, Abdi Abdirahman. He's done alright for himself by putting one foot in front of the other too. Are you distracted by that nipple? Me neither.


Anyhoo, it appears the lads are having a great time at camp—doing crafts, singing songs, scissoring their legs til their sternums glow. Not feeding the hyenas.

Oh, the other two ways to improve your 10K? It's genetic (hiya Tommy, mmmmwwwwaa). XY. It helps if you can be a boy. This massive study by Jens Jakob Andersen focused on marathon times, yes, but could be reduced to 10K, probably. It found that men were 7 percent faster than women. BUT—and this was the actual purpose of the study—women were smarter about pacing themselves and didn't die so spectacularly in the final miles.


Let's review: Go to Ethiopia and hang with Olympians, be a boy, or smart, one or the other.