No One Said The Brits Weren't Picky

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You can pick your mixed doubles partner, but you can't pick your nose — at least with the eyes of a nation desperate for tennis success upon you. The twin gods of decorum and hygiene frowned on their act, and Brits Ross Hutchins and Anne Keothavong were bounced in the first round.

You know who wasn't bounced? A bunch of Americans. And with the biggest soccer match in our history later today, this could be our chance to show the world that we're not just good at diplomacy and humility, but pretty decent at sports too. U-S-A! U-S-A!

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You can't pick your nose, and you can't pick your weekend editor. Hi, I'll be steering the good ship S.S. Deadspin today. You might remember me from three glorious years of the dog and pony show that is the dog show, or perhaps from the time Ryan Howard tried to knight me with his dork, or maybe even for embarrassing myself on Jeopardy! a few months back.

Good Sunday morning. Let's get dirty and gritty.