Now A Grouchy Old Lesbian, Pete Rose Returned From Arsenio Hall's Rummage Sale In Time For Opening Day

PublishedMarch 31, 2011

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

Bud Selig, you've officially broken this man's spirit. Please remedy this situation and put Peter Edward Rose in the Hall of Fame before his sanity dissipates any further.

Watch

Air Jordans are more American than McDonald's French fries | Deon Cole's Ultimate Sports Fantasy

view video

Air Jordans are more American than McDonald's French fries | Deon Cole's Ultimate Sports Fantasy

Bass' ERA stinks, but not compared to who he is off the mound | Worst of the Week Countdown

Thursday 4:06PM

Will South Beach Flu give the Heat home court advantage? | Keep it a Buck(et)

Thursday 11:43AM

Mocksession, with the grab.

****

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey will be here later, now with 90% less cop-beating videos.