Ochocinco Is Straight Cash

Illustration for article titled Ochocinco Is Straight Cash

Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?


•Bengals 17, Ravens 7.The old guard of defense-minded football ran into the new kids on the black, and they're wearing garish orange stripes. They stifled the hydra-headed Ravens run, holding them to just 55 yards on the ground. They kept Joe Flacco in check, picking him off twice. And though Chris Henry went down with a broken arm, I'm ready to declare this Cincinnati team officially "for real." (Thanks to Kyle for the screengrab.)

•Colts 20, Texans 17. Holy crap, this one was close. After a late Joey Addai score (his second), two Texans drives into Indy territory ended with an interception and a missed 42-yard field goal as time expired. The Colts barely remain undefeated, and oh, by the way, Houston is now Ryan Moats's team.

•Patriots 27, Dolphins 17. Miami gave them a scare, taking a lead in the third with a Ronnie Brown TD pass to the tight end. But a 71-yard bomb to Randy Moss puts the Patriots firmly in command of the AFC East.

•Buccaneers 38, Packers 28. Tampa Bay and "exciting football" in the same sentence? Believe it. There was no freak injury or fluky play to account for this one, just Josh Freeman's testicles dropping before our very eyes. In his first NFL start, he tossed three TDs, while the Bucs D picked off Aaron Rodgers thrice. And just like that, every team in the National Football League has won a game.

•Cardinals 41, Bears 21. This one was so ugly, my FOX station didn't bother going back to it after halftime. Kurt Warner had five TDs, while Matt Leinart was picked on his only attempt.

•Jaguars 24, Chiefs 21. Tell me again how much money did KC give Matt Cassel? But when Chris Chambers and Lance Long are your top targets, there's not a heck of a lot you can do. Mike Sims-Walker had 147 yards receiving, and the Jaguars are somehow a .500 team.


•Falcons 31, Redskins 17. Nothing like playing Washington to get a faltering team back on track. This one was the Michael Turner show, as he ran for 166 yards and two scores.