Olympics Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Why Cross-Country Skiers Collapse And Barf After Races
I get to trot this grainy photo out every four years, my own personal Olympic medal. There I am in the bottom right wearing team-issued Jackson Pollock spandex, flanked by advertisements for Red Lobster and a local brewery, my mouth open as though I’m screaming in sheer agony....
North Korean Speed Skater Appears To Trip Opponent After Falling
North Korean short-track speed skater Kwang Bom Jong caused a stir during a preliminary heat of the men’s 500 meter race. Right after the start of his race he stumbled and fell flat on his stomach, at which point he appeared to reach out and attempt to trip Japanese skater Ryosuke Sakazume....
Bode Miller Is The Worst Sports Commentator Who Ever Lived
Here is my impression of Bode Miller, alpine skiing analyst for NBC’s Winter Olympics coverage, watching Neil Armstrong take humankind’s first step onto the surface of the Moon:...
American Women Just Won Their First-Ever Cross Country Medal
Jessie Diggins started the final lap in third place in the women’s cross country team sprint event—and finished it .19 seconds ahead of the second-place Swedish skier. The gold medal she and teammate Kikkan Randall won was America’s first ever podium finish in women’s cross country skiing....
Czech Republic's Shootout Win Sends The U.S. Men Home
A shootout win by the Czech Republic broke a 2-2 tie in the men’s hockey quarterfinals and knocked Team USA out of the Olympics. Goaltender Pavel Francouz was the hero, stopping all five U.S. attempts, while Petr Koukal got the lone shootout goal against American goalie Ryan Zapolski....
For Deep Insight Into The True Nature Of The Virtue-Moir Relationship, Watch Them Be Forced To Watch A Montage Of Their Life Together<em></em>
Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the greatest ice dancers of all-time, spent the Olympics erotically wiggling together on the ice and winning the gold medal with a world-record score before denying that any sort of fucking was going on. There’s a certain, um, electricity to their interactions, even if t...
Elizabeth Swaney's Multi-Sport Journey To Pyeongchang
Hungarian (sort-of) skier Elizabeth Swaney is now infamous around the world, after her big turn at the Olympics involved her just sort of sliding down the ski halfpipe and getting a cumulative three feet or so of air. She finished dead last of the 24 competitors by a comfortable margin, but that doe...
Elise Christie's Olympics Were Another Nightmare<em></em>
Last week, British short track speed skater Elise Christie crashed out of the 500m race and finished fourth in an event she holds the world record, adding another disappointing finish to an Olympic career that’s been waylaid by an avalanche of bad luck. Christie was distraught after her fourth strai...
Are Virtue And Moir Fucking Or What?<em></em>
Last night, we all watched Canadian ice dancers Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir win gold by having simulated skate sex in front of god and NBC and everyone, and now we’re all pregnant, and I can’t believe what everyone is trying to tell me: that they’re not actually boning. Come the fuck on; I have eyes...
Ways The IOC Has Dodged Doping Questions, Ranked
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea—The big story coming into Pyeongchang was the IOC’s sanctions against Russia for the widespread doping that had ex post facto compromised the Sochi and Rio games. Now, with the 2018 Olympics just past their midpoint, a Russian curler has been officially charged with doping a...
Tessa Virtue And Scott Moir Moulin Rouge-d Their Way To Another Olympic Gold Medal
Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the Canadian ice dance team that received positive grades of execution for a lift that can only be described as “face sitting on ice skates” won their second gold medal of these Olympics tonight and their third Olympic gold medal overall. They’re now the 2010 Olympic cha...
The Winter Olympics Feature 2,951 Of The World’s Greatest Athletes, And Also This Woman<em></em><em></em>
There’s a premise built into the structure of the Olympics that pretty much every single Olympian, even those far down the standings, are elite athletes at the top of their game performing at a level most fans could only dream of. Freestyle skier Elizabeth Swaney is an affront to this notion, and he...
Russian Curling Bronze Medalist Aleksandr Krushelnitckii<em></em> Busted For Doping<em></em>
The Court of Arbitration for Sport says Russian curler Aleksandr Krushelnitckii, who with his wife Anastasia Bryzgalova claimed bronze in mixed doubles last week in Pyeongchang, is formally charged with doping after his B-sample tested positive for meldonium....
Failing In The Short Program Gave Nathan Chen The Best Long Program Of His Career
GANGNEUNG, South Korea—Recent Grand Prix champion and Olympic favorite Nathan Chen shocked the skating world earlier this week with a pair of disappointing short programs. A wipeout in his Olympic debut during the team event brought the U.S. down to bronze and a disastrous first half of the men’s in...
James Wisniewski Thinks Team USA Has NHL-Caliber Talent
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea—Without any NHL players participating in the Olympics this year for the first time since 1994, the level of play in Pyeongchang is simply not what it’s been at previous Winter Games. Obviously, no team is as handicapped by this decision as the U.S. The roster that includes j...
Yuzuru Hanyu<em></em> Is The First Repeat Olympic Men's Figure Skating Gold Medalist In 66 Years
For the first time since Dick Button in 1952, the reigning Olympic gold medalist in men’s figure skating has defended his title as Japan’s Yuzuru Hanyu scored a combined 317.85 to obliterate the competition....
Czech Snowboarder Borrows Mikaela Shiffrin's Skis, Somehow Wins Super-G Gold
Weather postponements led American ski star Mikaela Shiffrin to skip today’s Super-G competition, leaving the event reigning champion Anna Veith’s to win. And Veith had an easy lead after Lindsey Vonn, among others, faltered. Then arrived Czech Ester Ledecka, a world champion snowboarder who borrowe...
Nathan Chen Throws Down Massive Six Quads, Is Still Probably Doomed
Nathan Chen entered tonight’s free skate in 17th place thanks to a disastrous short program, but showed up with a massive 215.08 thanks to cleanly delivering six quad jumps in the performance:...
We Made Olympic Fencer Daryl Homer Rank Things
Bronx-born fencer Daryl Homer won silver in the individual saber at the 2016 Olympics, but he’s watching the Pyeongchang games from home, just like you. So, as you’ll see in the video above, we had him play a little game....
Canadian Curling Skip Receives Karmic Justice
Curlers are supposed to be good sports. As Matt Sussman wrote last year, the “first page of the official rulebook discusses The Spirit of Curling for a reason.” Curlers call their own fouls, even in the Olympics....