Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity

The University of Oregon just opened a brand new $68 million, 145,000-square foot football facility that would make Ozymandias—but not Phil Knight—blush. It is completely bananas. Let's take a look at some pictures.

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Here's what the locker room looks like. Those look less like lockers and more like hyperbaric sleeping chambers, meant to house imperial clone soldiers.

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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The facility has its own barbershop:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity

And a swanky-ass grotto just for the coaches:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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Here is where the team will hold press conferences, and where the Galactic Security Council will be meeting to discuss interstellar politics:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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And here is the head coach's office. College football is so stupid:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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Here's the "war room," which looks way more intense than an actual war room:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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And we can't forget about the players' lounge, which boasts six "gaming stations" and hand-woven rugs:

Illustration for article titled Oregons New “Football Performance Center” Is A Decadent Monstrosity
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That's just a sampling of how crazy this place is. You can check out the rest of the pictures here. Patrick Hruby wasn't playing around when he wrote about the gold-plating of college sports.

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