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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Other Plan B's For The Cleveland Cavaliers To Consider

Illustration for article titled Other Plan Bs For The Cleveland Cavaliers To Consider

By trading Jarrett Jack in order to clear cap space today, the Cavs made it clear they're all-in on trying to get LeBron James. It's also being reported that if they miss out on James, their Plan B involves trying to sign Chandler Parsons or Trevor Ariza. Those are pretty sad plans! Here are some alternative Plan B's we think they should consider.

  • See a movie
  • Take that tech writing job
  • Finally fix that leaky sink
  • Move in with dad
  • Hang out in the flats
  • Join the army
  • Move to Cincinnati
  • Re-hire Mike Brown
  • Trade for J.J. Hickson
  • Go backpacking in Europe
  • Trade for Shaq
  • Affix a cardboard LeBron to a skateboard and just push it around the court every night
  • Go to cooking school
  • Get a puppy
  • Go to Arizona State
  • Order from Pizza Hut
  • Just, take some time off, you know? Work on myself.
  • Finally settle down with that guy. He doesn't need to be a model or anything, you know?
  • Get really into hemp. It's pretty versatile.
  • Master Kinja
  • The novel. Gotta finish that novel. The story is still a work in progress, but I have really strong characters. Maybe it's more of a short story. I'm going to talk to my old professor about what he thinks about a suite of short stories.
  • Staycation
  • Well, I saw Gawker is hiring
  • Just move to California. See what happens.
  • Always wanted to try surfing. Really get in touch with the ocean, you know?
  • Binge watch Orange is the New Black. Both seasons.
  • Tour with Phish
  • Join a gym
  • Take the LSAT
  • Sign up for OK Cupid

Godspeed, Cleveland.

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