A couple of explanations for this very strange, uh, “base hit” in the first inning of tonight’s Giants-Cardinals game. One: Paul DeJong, being a very science-minded fellow with sincere, demonstrated interest in the way external forces affect the trajectory of a baseball, figured out a split-second before everyone else that his foul ball had enough backspin to reverse direction entirely and roll fair.

Two: He is a certified freak! An associate of the devil’s! A cursed graduate of the Matilda School of Telekinesis! In this case, I’m afraid we’ve no choice but to burn him at the stake.

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Just like he drew it up. Spooky stuff.