Peyton Manning made a surprise appearance on the Denver Broncos’ injury report. The injury, apparently in his back, isn’t anything major, but it was still something Manning anticipated the media would want to question him about. He decided to head off these concerns with some jokes that your dad will love.
“What’s the deal with just athletes being on injury reports?” Cool Comedian Peyton Manning wondered. “Why don’t I put you scrubs on an injury report!?” (video is here):
“Let me start with [KUSA reporter Mike] Klis,” Manning said. “The carpal tunnel from all the texting of his sources. Who else?”
“D-Mac (104.3 The Fan host Darren McKee), the laryngitis from ripping me all week. The rash that he has that’s unidentified. The fact that he’s still is here every day to overcome that, I think it admirable.”
“[Denver Post reporter] Woody [Paige], in my opinion, is probably the healthiest of all of you, and this is not a healthy group by any means. But Woody is healthy. Who else?
“[USA Today reporter] Lindsay Jones—the bunions from all the travel to the West Coast.”
“[Denver Post columnist Mark] Kiszla also—Kislza’s got gout for sure. I know he’s got gout, but he never complains about it.”
Heh. Got ‘em.