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Philip Rivers Gets Pumped About Touchdown, Punches His Glove

When Philip Rivers threw his second touchdown pass in Monday night’s game against the Steelers, ESPN’s cameras caught him punching something out of midair. Some people thought it was a bird, but it was just his glove. That’s still a weird routine, but not nearly as violent.

What if Rivers did punch a bird, though? That’d be a hell of a celebration. Imagine the chaos. Jets staff rounding up pigeons for the players in Manhattan before a home game. Players being fined for DraftKings-sponsored parrots. Maybe it’d turn into a league-wide scandal, and force the NFL to crack down on bird violence after touchdowns (and air a carefully produced commercial to show it cares about ornithological causes). The fiasco would end with Jimmy Graham spiking a cockatiel after scoring, and getting suspended two games.

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Contact the author at samer@deadspin.com.

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