Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news.

When building an arena, there's a whole list of things to check off on your clipboard while wearing a hardhat. Jumbotron? Calibrated T-shirt cannons? Lovable, non-sexualized mascots? Check, check and check. A less glamorous aspect is making sure all the toilets are going to work. Since the usual method of having the fastest intern run around flushing all the toilets was deemed "stupid," the Pens are going to make it fun by having a bunch of —most likely drunk—Carnegie Mellon and Duquesne kids simultaneously flush the arena's toilets. If there's a city that needs to make sure it's toilets are working, it's Michael Chabon and Sienna Miller's favorite metropolis.


NHL team seeking help to flush Pa. arena's toilets [Yahoo, via AP]

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