I'm not sure what the monster is supposed to be in Cloverfield, but it can't be any more horrifying than this. From the pages of Sports Illustrated, via Larry Brown Sports, comes Tales of Nude Rick Majerus. Apparently the Saint Louis coach loves being naked, and it's not the good naked, as Seinfeld would say. Here's the excerpt that will chill you to the bone, from when Majerus was with Utah:

Majerus kept telling [former Utah player Michael] Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. "'Jesus f###in Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!'" Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. "Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, 'Six f###in inches,' and he says, 'the size of the average white dick!' and pulls it out."

With the possible exception of the hotel wrestling scene in Borat, that is the very last thing on Earth I'd ever want to see. But I guarantee you that I'll be gapping my man six inches from now on. I'd suggest you do the same.

(The Nightmare Fuel tag drops dead, is carted off the court on a stretcher).

Rick Majerus Loves Being Naked [Larry Brown Sports]