Scott Van Pelt Addresses America's Future

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So, you might be wondering: Who was the commencement speaker at the University of Wisconsin-Madison? (Trust us, you were wondering this.) Well, it was, of all people, our old pal Scott Van Pelt ... and we're not ashamed to say it was a pretty amusing speech.

Not only did he praise Madison — which, we agree, is a wonderful city — but he even referenced that famous voice mail message.

This hourglass will serve several purposes here. First of all, it's my reminder to be brief. I might have left a voice mail message for a young lady that made it's way on to the Internet. If you're familiar, you know it's proof that I do get a little long-winded. And as a side note to the fellas, when in doubt, maybe a text message is nice...I'm just saying.



The more important purpose of this is that it is symbolic. When I was where you now are, I gave no thought to the passage of time, no thought to the sand in my hourglass, so to speak. But as I stand here today, I am painfully aware of how much sand is in the bottom and how quickly it piles up there. And if you believe nothing else that I tell you today, believe me that a year will become five, will become 10 and you wake up one morning and you don't recognize the bald-headed guy looking back at you in the mirror. For the ladies that analogy doesn't work quite so well, unless you marry a bald-headed guy, and you'll probably find him quite charming, because really we have no other option.

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Van Pelt continues to be our favorite "SportsCenter" anchor, and not just because he constantly references "Flight Of The Conchords." (Though that helps.) We might find it strange that a major American university would ask a "SportsCenter" anchor to address their graduates, but if they had to pick one, they picked the right one.

Scott Van Pelt, Charge to the Graduates, Winter 2007 Commencement [University of Wisconsin]