Fans of the Seattle Seahawks have gained a reputation as not dealing well with losing, which is weird, because they had all of recorded human history up until about 2003 to get good at it. They’ve also gained a reputation as the NFL fanbase most likely to start a pointless petition when things don’t go their way. Now some more sensible fans are striking back at the whinier elements among them, and doing so with petitions of their own.
Patient zero appears to be this petition, from back in November, calling on Fox to pull Joe Buck and Troy Aikman from calling Seahawks games because of a perceived anti-Seattle bias. Currently sitting at more than 19,000 signatories, it reads:
Aikman & Buck’s comments heavily favor any and all of the Seahawks opponents. Their comments are incredibly critical and degrading. Not only do we respectfully request, the 12th Man DEMANDS that these two commentators be banned from calling any future Seahawks games.
(This is the worst sort of fan, and they’re everywhere—the type who is so fanblind that they see bias in anyone who doesn’t favor their team, even among the even-handed.)
Though that petition was jacked from a cranky Royals fan who also wanted to ban Joe Buck from calling his team’s games (the 12th Man has a knack for appropriating other fans’ traditions, it seems), the idea caught on. Following the Seahawks’ elimination at the hands of the Panthers, punctuated by Cam Newton throwing a “12" flag—an act that earned him a smarmy open letter—another petition popped up, attempting to ban Newton from playing in Seattle. It reads:
Cam Newton is one of the most unprofessional, unsportsmanlike individual on the face of the planet. So I say for the 2016-2017 when the Panthers come to play in Seattle he should be banned from entering the stadium. This should teach him to put his arrogance in check!!
Now, this petition doesn’t even have 2,000 signatures. And I think—I hope—that the petition’s creator understands that the President doesn’t have the authority to keep an NFL player from traveling with his team. So you could argue that it’s tongue-in-cheek.
You could also argue that this is the face Seahawks fans are showing the internet, and it’s not pretty. Though the many aren’t represented by the few petty petition-makers and -signers, these are the loudest voices. So over the last day, a counter-petition movement has arisen to say shut up, you’re making us look bad.
The first is more specific, targeting Andrew Tilton—the fan who created the ban-Cam-Newton petition—and asking that Tilton be banned from attending Seahawks games.
The second asks for a blanket ban on all petitions by Seahawks fans. And, while coming from a noble place, it demonstrates plenty of that superiority complex we’ve come to know and love.
Fellow Seahawks fans, the letters you write chastising Cam Newton for tearing down a 12 flag in his home stadium and petitions you start trying to ban him from The C-link are making all of us look like pathetic, whiny bitches. It only takes one or two of these stupid stunts to embarrass millions of 12s and make the rest of the country think we’re a bunch of crybaby sore losers. Yes, we (along with many, many football fans around the country) think Cam Newton is an arrogant, unsportsmanlike, showboating douche canoe. But for god’s sake, get a grip. Grow up, get over it, start acting like football fans and knock it the hell off. There are plenty of fans around the country who hate us and some of our players, too. It goes with the territory when you dominate the league. Let’s show them we’re the superior team and fanbase by our performance on the field and in the stands next year.
I hope this team loses forever.
*Is immediately sent link to petition demanding that I be banned from blogging about the Seahawks*