Several Wrong Ways To Say "Philadelphia Eagles"

There was always some risk involved, in retrospect. The balance of power on the Deadcast has always been tenuous in Drew’s absence, with Marchman’s powerfully Marchmanian energy in dynamic tension with my own pure and righteous handsomeness. Sometimes the guests have evened this out, and sometimes, as in the brutal gang assault on the very idea of pancakes in last week’s episode, they have conspired to make the Deadcast into something horrific and cruel and unholy. This was something we could and obviously should have considered before inviting native Philadelphian and avowed Tan Food Aficionado Dan McQuade onto the podcast this week, and yet we did so anyway. I do not need to tell you that what followed was the purest carnage.

Because of the passionate and not-unwarranted response to last week’s pancake slander, we revisited that still-raw injustice. There was some football talk, too, as befits the season, and some consideration of Philadelphia’s bizarre and floridly psychotic folkways as befits our guest. The episode contained, if I’m being honest, a notable amount of wrestling bullshit, from hilariously gaudy old wrestling magazines to a promising new indie wrestling promotion to an entirely predictable round of Remembering Some Guys. At one point, Dan pronounced “76ers” as “Semi-Sixers” and while he was demonstrably trying to do so, the result was disconcerting enough that I feel moved to mention it here.

All that and we haven’t even gotten to the Funbag yet. We opened it, and found within it the most precious and profoundly infected Mind Jewels—a cooking show in which chefs prepare dishes for howling monstrous four-year-olds, a frank consideration of the comic potential of gout, a debate about the best types of bad-situation television, and a mature discussion of which premium cable shows Donald Trump might be familiar with. The “Episodes Without Having Discussed HBO’s Real Sex” ticker is now back at zero. We’ll do better next week, if only in terms of accents.

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