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I think my favorite thing about that video is the audible groans from the onlookers, seemingly saying, “Fucking hell, all we wanted to do is have a couple pints, and watch some high-quality stick handling.” Is no niche leisure activity safe? What’s next, some guy in a Stop Oil shirt, and a pair of Colombia hiking boots splashing urine-filled water balloons on the big screen at an eSports convention?

If you’re wondering why one would pick such an obscure event to stage a protest, you’re in luck, because Just Stop Oil released a blog post taking credit for the attack. That’s right, acting as if they just carried out a suicide bombing, Just Stop Oil took a page out of ISIS’ book to claim responsibility.

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I really want to know what went on in the group text that led to A) going after snooker and B) aping terrorist playbooks. While we will probably never know the reason for the latter, Just Stop Oil did fill us in on why they opted for snooker.

The answer: “Why not snooker? Why should any cultural expression be outside the domain of climate action?”

I mean, they’re kind of right because climate change is going to affect every corner of the globe, and Snooker is played on this planet, so drunk Englishmen are not immune. The thing is, and I’m generalizing here, the fans of that sport don’t give a shit. Like at all. Might as well have interrupted a rodeo to protest China’s treatment of Uyghur Muslims. There’s as much confusion as apathy, and whatever kind of dismissive fervor that comes from interrupting a night out.

The real reason Just Stop Oil targeted a small/semi-notable happening is because of lax security. It’s like stealing from the mall. All you have to do is get by one security guard with an inferiority complex, and you’re in the clear. Granted you just got away with it, but that’s a high risk-reward ratio for $40 worth of Hot Topic gear.

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It’s akin to the woman who tried to glue herself to the court at a Minnesota Timberwolves game. You might want to consider how many people you’re reaching before putting this crackpot plan into motion. What good does a public display of outrage do if it barely qualifies as public?

I’m sure if I had read Just Stop Oil’s blog post beyond the first two paragraphs, I’d agree with a lot of the points they make as would most environmentally conscious people. However, making fun of them is so much easier. It’s a layup. Why do you think I’m starting my work week with it?

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If one of these crunchy, self-righteous organizations really wants to be a catalyst for change, parachute onto Rihanna’s platform at the Super Bowl, take over CNN’s feed during a State of the Union, something that’s highly visible but also risks prison time.

Why do you think January 6 resurrectionists are still in the news? Jumping on a Snooker table and dumping out a packet of orange Kool-Aid isn’t going to move the needle. It’s only going to get you ridiculed on the internet. Case in point, the last 500-plus words.