Soccer Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everything You Need To Know About Penalty Shootouts, Including, Just Maybe, How To Win
Let’s start in the nightmare parallel universe in which the rules of the NBA dictate that, after J.R. Smith outmuscles Kevin Durant for the rebound and dribbles out the clock in a tie game, the starting fives for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors each shoot a single free throw, tally...
Philippe Coutinho Might Fuck Around And Win The World Cup For Brazil
Coming into the World Cup, the big advantage Brazil had over supposed heavy favorites Germany (ha!) and Spain was the presence of a real-deal superstar. In an international tournament, where collective attacking intricacy is in short supply, an individual’s ability to take the ball from one side of ...
Both England And Belgium Have Every Reason To Lose Tomorrow
England and Belgium will meet tomorrow at Kaliningrad Stadium in a match that will decide which team will win Group G. Both teams have scored eight goals and conceded two in a matched pair of blowout wins against Panama and Tunisia. This means that if they draw tomorrow, they will have identical goa...
Grateful Mexico Fans Are Treating South Korea Fans Like Royalty<em></em>
Despite a 3-0 loss to Sweden, Mexico fell ass-backwards into the knockout rounds because of some late heroics from an already-doomed South Korean squad. After Mexico’s fate became clear against Sweden, their fans turned their attention towards the Germany-South Korea game in hopes that the questiona...
Fraud-Ass Mexico Dodged A Bullet Today
After looking commanding in an opening-day beatdown of the World Cup’s defending champs, then slick and deadly in an easy victory over South Korea, Mexico proceeded to completely shit the bed today. All they needed to do against Sweden was not lose by multiple goals, which seemed like something betw...
South Korea Killed Germany And Tossed The Dead Body Out Of The World Cup
Germany, the reigning champions of world soccer and one of the three huge favorites to win this World Cup, have been knocked out of the tournament at the group stage for the first time in history after losing to South Korea by a score of 2-0. This is absolutely insane....
Diego Maradona Explains His Wild World Cup Behavior: "My Neck Hurt A Lot"
Argentina soccer legend and stubby crazy person Diego Maradona was acting pretty nuts during yesterday’s World Cup game between Argentina and Nigeria. His rolling eyes and sloppy teetering, combined with the fact that he had to be carried away from his seat and visited by doctors after the game, mad...
The Egyptian Football Association Turned Mo Salah's World Cup Into An Embarrassing Disaster
Ahead of Egypt’s final match, against Saudi Arabia, at the 2018 World Cup, reports began to emerge that star player Mohamed Salah planned to retire from the Egyptian national team following the quadrennial tournament....
Lionel Messi And Marcos Rojo Rescue Argentina From Abject Misery
The stage was all set up for Argentina, until now (and probably still) the single biggest frauds in a tournament defined by fraudhood, to succumb to their misery and die the death they seemed destined for. Somehow, they fought to live another day....
![Diego Maradona Is Having A Normal One [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mgnnuhg2ugrsqzrpmlba.gif)
Diego Maradona Is Having A Normal One [Updates]
While Argentina fights to stay in the World Cup, soccer legend and party gnome Diego Maradona appears to be fighting to stay on our earthly plane....
I Can't Stop Staring At Zlatan Ibrahimovic's Ass Tattoos
This week, in the annual Body Issue of ESPN The Magazine, Zlatan showed his ass, and friends, the ass is a masterpiece....
Iranian Goalie Who Exposed Ronaldo As A Fraud Went From Being A Homeless Runaway To The World Freaking Cup
Portugal was denied the full three points in their 1-1 draw against Iran today, thanks in massive part to a save from Iranian goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand on a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. Ronaldo, who failed to score today, was newly exposed as a massive fraud when his attempt at a powerful sho...
Iranian Defender: "Diego Costa Cussed Everyone In My Life"
Diego Costa can be a huge dick. In addition to stomping, scratching, and attempting to bite his opponents, he once threw his spit onto Sergio Ramos (yes, he spit into his hand then threw it at another human being—twice). These transgressions, combined with his constant scowling and general grumpines...
Russia Finally Ran Into A Good Team And Got Exposed
If you were annoyed by the plaudits this seemingly mediocre Russia team received after their admittedly impressive, high-scoring victories over absolute joke teams like Saudi Arabia and Egypt at the start of the World Cup, then you must’ve loved seeing Uruguay bust up on the vile Ruskies in today’s ...
Panama Got Their Asses Kicked And Still Won
Expectations are everything at the World Cup. A narrow loss in the Round of 16 might be a generationally humiliating result for one team while being a heroic feat of determination and resolve for another, with the lines between the two being drawn based on what was expected from each team coming int...
Toni Kroos's Last-Second Goal Looks Even More Incredible From This Alternate Angle
The angles at which soccer games are broadcast can often make free-kick opportunities look much simpler than they actually are. From way up in the sky, the wall of defenders looks much less imposing, the distance from ball to goal much more manageable, and the target much easier to hit....
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
Every team has played two matches. Definitely time enough for sweeping declarations of their fraudulence status....
Here's How A Deaf And Blind Brazil Fan Enjoys The World Cup
Friends, sports are good....
How Did James <em></em>Rodríguez Make This Pass?<em></em>
Colombia rebounded nicely from a 2-1 loss to Japan with a 3-0 shellacking of Poland in their second World Cup game today. The icing on top was a goal from Juan Cuadrado, but the scorer had a pretty easy job. All Cuadrado had to do is run a breakaway to the net, while it was James Rodríguez who had t...
An Extremely Stupid Tiebreaker Will Be Used If England Draws With Belgium
England pulled level with group rivals Belgium after their lopsided win against Panama this morning, giving each national side six points going into their final group stage game against each other. Not only do Belgium and England have the same amount of points, though, but they also have exactly eig...