Soccer Page 228 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dumb Column: Sacramento Shouldn't Pay For MLS Stadium, But Maybe Sacramento Could Pay For MLS Stadium<em></em>
There’s one MLS expansion slot left, and it’ll soon be awarded to Cincinnati, Sacramento, or Detroit. Sacramento once looked like a lock to get an expansion spot, but it’s now rather uncertain, likely because Sacramento’s ownership group isn’t as flamboyantly wealthy as their competitors....
Neymar Is Wasting His Talents In This Bullshit League
Neymar did an amazing thing yesterday in a game you almost certainly didn’t watch and probably didn’t even hear about. At one point in yesterday’s Ligue 1 match against Dijon, Paris Saint-Germain’s brightest star picked up the ball near the center line and sped his way down half the pitch, in the pr...
Argentine Soccer Team Puts Keepers Through Batshit Insane Training Regimen
Sportivo Dock Sud, a team in Argentina’s fourth division, really want their goalkeepers to be prepared for anything. That must be why the team’s keeper coach runs his charges through the wildest training gauntlet imaginable:...
Dimitri Payet Gives Keeper The Business, Literally Injures Him With Sick Dribble Move
Everyone knows about the basketball phrase “breaking one’s ankles,” a metaphorical description for when a defender gets juked so hard by a crossover or the like that, in their spasmodic attempt to stay with the dribbler, they fall over themselves into sad heap of pain and humiliation. Well Dimitri P...
Carlos Tevez On His Time Stealing Money From Chinese Club: "I Was On A Seven-Month Vacation"
Carlos Tevez had about 40 million reasons to love his cushy, high-paid life with Chinese Super League club, Shanghai Shenhua. But, as readers of this site well know, Tevez hated living in China, hated the food (though not so much as to prevent him from packing on the pounds), and hated the soccer cu...
The Liverpool-Man City Match Was A Classic From The Premier League's New Golden Age
The English Premier League has been the most famous and purely entertaining soccer league for ages now. No other domestic league can match England’s in top-to-bottom competitiveness, in the sheer number of historically and consistently great clubs, in blustery, throat-hoarsening fan engagement, in w...
French Soccer Ref Loses His Mind After Getting Accidentally Tripped By Player
Because soccer referees need to be in the thick of the action, every now and then they will be inadvertently tripped up or bowled over by a player. A normal reaction to this is for the ref to clamber back to his feet with a smirk, and maybe laugh about the accident with the sheepish player once play...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
These Japanese Kids Suck So Hard At Soccer That Not Even 100 Of Them Can Beat Three Pros
Last time the youth of Japan were given an opportunity to demonstrate their sporting acumen in the whimsical world of Japanese game shows, 55 children tried and failed to best a team of a mere two professional players in soccer. Recently, that same game show gave 100 more kids the chance to redeem t...
Romelu Lukaku Did Not Leave Everton Because Of "Voodoo"
Farhad Moshiri, the majority shareholder of Everton, took some time at a shareholders’ meeting yesterday to explain, according to him, why his club could not convince former Toffee and current Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku not to leave last summer. Moshiri’s bizarre explanation—that Lukaku...
May All Your Failures End Up As Serendipitously As This Soccer Coach's Attempt To Lean Against A Fence
I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on purpose with the poise and commitment that Marius Sumudica, manager of the Turkish soccer team Kayserispor, brings to playing off this accidental fall so that it looks like he intended all along to lower himself into a metal hammock. Seems comfy. ...
Liverpool Mayor Writes Nutty Letter To The FA Calling For Investigation Of Ross Barkley Transfer
Joe Anderson is the mayor of Liverpool. He is also a diehard and delusional Everton fan. It is presumably this mix of a mayor’s political sway and a fan’s righteous indignation that inspired him to call the cops and ask them to investigate a transfer he didn’t like....
José Mourinho And Antonio Conte Are In An Outrageously Unprofessional And Deliciously Petty Beef
José Mourinho and Antonio Conte do not like each other. You might have picked up on this fact over the past week or so, seeing as the two managers have been openly slamming each other in the media like a couple rappers going verse-for-verse in a freestyle battle. The resulting insults have been as p...
U.S. Soccer Only Has Itself To Blame After Losing Jonathan González To Mexico
The United States’ defensive midfielder of the future will not be Jonathan González. A few days after reports surfaced that Mexico would be mounting a serious effort to flip the 18-year-old midfielder, he’s apparently made up his mind and will leave the USMNT behind to play for El Tri. Univision Dep...
PSG's Gorgeous One-Touch Move Was The Best Goal Of The Weekend
From the first forward pass a PSG player hits in this clip, the ball travels from the doorstep of the Parisian goal down the entire length of the pitch and into Rennes’s net in about 15 seconds. The move involves only 11 touches of the ball, six of which are either first-touch passes or a shot. It i...
American Defender Lays Waste To Arsenal In FA Cup First Half
Nottingham Forest’s Eric Lichaj has spent the vast majority of his career in the second tier of English soccer and the fringes of the USMNT. But in the first half of his team’s FA Cup match against Arsenal, Lichaj looked like a savior. The 29-year-old American defender scored both of his team’s goal...
Lionel Messi And Jordi Alba Go Over Levante's Heads For A Gorgeous Goal
In a metaphorical sense, Barcelona are almost always playing above their competition. But today against Levante, Lionel Messi and Jordi Alba combined for some play that was literally untouchable. Their give-and-go was almost as suited to volleyball as it was to a soccer pitch, and it was good for Me...
Liverpool And Barcelona Agree To £142 Million Transfer Fee For Philippe Coutinho
The once-dead Coutinho-to-Barcelona transfer, a hot rumor of the post-Neywatch soccer landscape, is now, suddenly, a done deal: today Barcelona and Liverpool reportedly agreed to a £142 million transfer fee that will send the midfielder to Catalonia. Per ESPN:...
The Coutinho-To-Barcelona Transfer Saga Is Back On, And Might Actually Happen This Time
This past summer was a great one for aficionados of melodramatic transfer window soap operas. The most passion-inflamed and drama-filled ones were the two Barcelona-based series, NeyWatch and One Life to Liverpool. NeyWatch, you probably remember, starred the impossibly hunky Neymar and detailed the...
West Ham And Tottenham Trade Back-To-Back Bangers
Early-season basement dwellers West Ham showed some promise and held their own in a 1-1 draw against Tottenham today, but the point they won is mostly thanks to a bit of magic from Pedro Obiang. The Hammer midfielder, who had only scored two goals total since the start of the 2015-16 season, pulled ...